'True Blood' Recap: Pumas and Sorcerers and Fairies, Oh My!

It was a night of big reveals on tonight's episode of True Blood, and with only two more episodes left in the third season, it was definitely the beginning of the end.

**Spoilers Ahead**

By the episode's end, Crystal had revealed herself to Jason as some kind of large, black cat (a puma?), Sookie was revealed as a fairy (aka an alien -- I was right!), and Sam Merlotte revealed in a series of flashbacks that he is not the sweet, loving, innocent man he appears.

All of that fails to even touch upon the long, strange trip Lafayette and Jesus took through Jesus's black magic ancestry and the hot kiss with Eric that cost Sookie her freedom.

Yes, by the episode's end, Sookie was chained in the basement of Eric's bar shouting at him about trust and how she never should have given it to him.

Oh Sookie, your relationship prowess is starting to rival that of a shorter, tanner, plumper version of you with a rhyming nickname who currently resides in Miami with JWoww and The Situation.


This episode brought us back to season 2 and to the Eric, Sookie, and Bill love triangle and I'm a little disappointed about that.

I was digging the werewolf and am definitely not wanting to move the plot backward just so True Blood can compete with the Twilight movies. Oh, who will she choose? It's so romantic to be ravished!

No thanks.

Let's move the storyline along, shall we? That ship done sailed.

Nevertheless, I will say this about that kiss between Eric and Sookie: hot, it was. It was as if she knew it would be her last single kiss on the show (Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer were married in real life this weekend) and she made it a good one. I especially dug the desperate clawing at one another and smacking noises that accompanied it. And you can't go wrong with a guy who kisses you and then throws you in a dungeon in a neck chain. That's love, vampire-style.

Speaking of vamp love, Russell (the Vampire King) staked a random male prostitute I'm pretty sure played Navid in 90210 (Michael Steger) the last two seasons. Poor guy is always getting staked in some way on his shows. In this case, however, the stake was real and as he died, Russell did a little role play, pretending like he is with his lover in his dying moments. It was really a very tender moment if you can block out how incredibly effed up it is.

During last week's episode, Russell started his reign of grief-crazy terror when he stole a man's spine on live TV, so this episode was not a great one for vampire/human relations. Someone graffiti-ed Bill and Jessica's home and erected a burning cross in their yard, and the TV is full of hate mongering and bigots.

I can't imagine why.

Meanwhile, there were so many reveals, it was almost dizzying. Here are a few:

  • Sam Merlotte is a killer and thief!
  • Sookie is a fairy/alien/descendant of rapists!
  • Crystal is a puma!
  • Terry is not Arlene's baby daddy!
  • Jesus' family was into the black arts!
  • Jessica and Hoyt still love each other!

It was a lot to soak in during one short episode. But they are building the suspense and I'm 100 percent sure that wherever this goes, I'm still going to be sad it ever has to end.

What did you think of tonight's episode?


Image via HBO.com

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