Celebrity Crotch Shots: The Art of Flashing Your Vagina

Okay ladies, I want to ask you a question. How do you get out of a car, when you're wearing a skirt? 

A) Keeping both legs together, I swing my feet out of the vehicle, then stand up. Durr.

B) Well, first of all, I make sure I either have no underwear on whatsoever, or a pair of teeny-tiny panties that cost more than your mortgage, bitch. Then I open the door and flop one leg out as far as I possibly can. Bonus points to me if my knees are at least 5 feet apart -- good thing I'm so flexible from all that yoga! -- and the actual interior of my uterus is visible. I wait there until I'm sure every photographer has had a chance to capture the special moment; then, depending on how incapacitated I am, I stagger the rest of the way out and scream at my assistant to bring me a drink.

Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton have all clearly chosen Option B in years past, but even squeaky-clean Jennifer Aniston was recently photographed with her hemline hiked up over her thighs. And a few days ago Britney was up to her old tricks, somehow managing to get the bottom of her dress to expose her naked butt as she sashayed into a Johnny Rockets in LA, where presumably the menu included burgers, vanilla shakes, and Disgraced Pop Star Booty.

Celebrity junk-sighting has become so common there are websites devoted to these "accidental" flashes. The Superficial has an entire category titled "Upskirt," for crying out loud. (For the love of everything, do not click the Tara Reid pictures. My eyes! MY EYESSSSS.)

I guess I'm willing to give some of these incidents the benefit of the doubt. I mean, sometimes limos are real low to the ground and hard to get out of. Sometimes there's a wardrobe malfunction that can't be prevented and the paparazzi snapping you from every angle are bound to catch an inopportune moment. Sometimes ... uh, well, hmm. Maybe certain celebrities have a life-threatening disorder where if their vagina doesn't get fresh air on a regular basis, they asphyxiate. Won't somebody think of the vaginas?

What do you think, are celebrities doing this on purpose for the attention, or are they continually falling prey to a combination of bad luck and available cameras?

Image via ndanger/Flickr
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