9 Celebrities I Don't Want To Hear About Anymore. Ever.

whitney houston
Photo from Splash News

Whitney Houston is in the news again this week.

Seems her comeback has derailed for the moment as she has developed a stubborn respiratory infection. Whit's been canceling shows left and right on the European leg of her comeback tour, this after recent concert performances in Asia and Australia were criticized.

Some say her voice isn't what it used to be. Others wonder if she's using drugs again. Some think her comeback has already failed. Which leaves me with just one question:



Seriously. This is news? Has Whitney Houston been relevant since 1995?

God bless the woman for kicking drugs and trying make another go of it. I wish her well. But I can go the rest of my life without hearing another word about her comeback or her voice or her respiratory infections or how "Crack is whack."

She's not the only one, either. Here are a few other celebs about whom I've heard enough for one lifetime. Yes, I realize the irony of this -- mentioning people I never want to hear mentioned again -- but humor me, okay?

Kate Gosselin: The woman is everywhere, but her 15 minutes were up at least two years ago. Someone pull the alarm. And for chrissakes, stop putting her on TV.

Tiger Frickin' Woods: No comment. They've all been said, 5,000 times each. Make it stop.

Rush Limbaugh: Please don't tease us with idle threats about leaving the country. That's just cruel. Do it or shut up. Both, preferably.

Kim Kardashian: She has two talents, and both of them are in her bra. That's it. That's all she does -- walk around in revealing outfits showing off her ta-tas. Not that I don't like ta-tas -- I do -- just not on someone so talentless and vapid as her.

Madonna: I've been hearing about her for 30 years but was already tired of it 25 years ago. Her music is fine; it's her I don't like.

Gary Coleman: Yeah, Gary Coleman. He only pops up in the news when he gets arrested every few months, but that's still too much. This angry, wife-battering, fan-assaulting miscreant got a lucky break as a child and has done nothing with it except become a bum. Beat it, Gary. You're dead to me.

Lindsay Lohan: Speaking of dead, I think LiLo will be, soon. I don't wish it upon her; I'm just going with the odds. No one with a lifestyle like hers lives for long. Just ask Corey Haim or Heath Ledger. Wait. They're dead. Never mind.

The Girls Next Door: Even horny old Hef had enough and gave 'em the boot. Why must we keep hearing about these bimbos? Is it because they are so different from all the other bleached-blonde, fake-boobed Playboy bunnies?

There are more, but I'll stop. I don't want to come across as a crank.

How about you: Who are you tired of hearing about?

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