We take a break from our currently scheduled blog post to bring you this public health service announcement: Cigarettes are bad for you.

Been there, heard that.

The Center for Disease Control thinks so, too, which is why they've decided our cigarette warnings – on packages and in commercials – are too wimpy. Warning labels? Pfft. I'll read that as soon as I get through my cellphone contract. So, today they released a brand-spanking new bunch of scare tactics that would make Joe Camel gag. Have you ever seen a camel gag? It’s not pretty. And neither are these new ads, let’s take a look ...

If you’re as celeb-obsessed as I am, any time one of them is “rushed to the hospital” (as if anyone ever “takes their sweet-ass time” going to the hospital), you suddenly turn into House. Hmm, so yesterday he was on that yacht all day with that actress drinking Champagne ... heat exhaustion! Alcohol poisoning! Mono!

So when Selena Gomez found herself in one of those paper white gowns recently, the medical diagnoses started swirling in my head. Food poisoning? The flu? Bieber Fever? (Sorry, I had to.) Turns out, the culprit was ...

It’s not every day a woman gets married. Especially to a vampire.

So when Breaking Dawn finally graces us with its presence on the big screen, Kristen Stewart/Bella Swan deserves to get the royally immortal wedding treatment, and recently the designer of her dress was revealed. I must say, I was disappointed. Not that I was expecting black velvet and corsets to embrace her new family, or something along the lines of Lady Gaga’s meat dress (an outfit and reception dinner in one!), but I totally wasn’t expecting something so, well, boring.