Call me a professional hypocrite: I write about how to raise kids for magazines like Parents, American Baby,Parenting, and other publications, but rarely follow my own mothering advice. Yeah, my kids watch TV and play in a rock band instead of on a soccer team but you know what? They're cool. (Can you tell I was raised by hippies?) Follow me on Twitter!
Coffee if it's a weekday; margaritas if it's a mom's night out.
Here's a seemingly simple, straightforward question that's actually more loaded than your least favorite uncle at Thanksgiving Dinner: Why did you decide to have a baby? Pretty tough to answer, right? People decide to have babies for all sorts of reasons, I suppose, but none of them sound as legitimate as you want them to sound when you say them out loud (considering the issue at hand is bringing another human life into the world). Here, I'll try to answer the question to show you what I mean: Why did I have a baby (well, two babies, but let's pretend this is about the first one)? Because I wanted to. That's the truth, but it also sounds way too whimsical and impractical -- let's try again. Why did I have a baby? Because it felt like the right thing to do at the time. Oooh, that doesn't sound right either. Kind of obligatory and borderline regretful, neither of which is accurate. This is hard!
Okay, so maybe we're all struggling a bit right now with the concept of musicals -- given the recent televised trainwreck that was The Sound of Music Live! Understandable, to be sure. But here's something that's sure to cure your post-traumatic musical syndrome: Heathers, one of THE best teen movies ever made (not to mention the prototype for countless teen movies that followed), is being made into an Off-Broadway musical -- AND it's expected to open in March!
First impressions aren't always accurate, except, of course, when they are. Like, remember the first time you saw Tila Tequila and you thought, "Now there's a trainwreck of a human being whose personal opinion has no place in a public forum whatsoever?" In that case, your first impression was 100 percent on the money. And you don't have to take my word for it: Tequila (must I actually act as if that's her real last name?? I guess I have no choice) herself has always done everything in her power to prove your gut instinct right, most recently by posting a picture of herself on Facebook wearing a Nazi costume. Yep. Oh, and it gets worse.
I've made no secret of my feelings regarding a certain very popular all-seeing elf doll (hint: NOT enthusiastic), but I've always felt like part of a small, Grinch-y minority. (But it's so much fun, why would you deprive your kids of such a fun tradition? Um, cause CREEPY, that's why.) Anyway, turns out I'm not alone in my elf-aversion -- at least not if The Dwarf in the Drawer is any indication. A book-and-doll set "in the tradition of Goodnight iPad and Runaway Mummy," it's billed as a "hilarious parody of Santa’s elvish spy -- and a story that will make us all take another look at the true meaning of Christmas."
Despite centuries of advancements in medical science and countless babies born, the topic of childbirth has managed to remain, somehow, slightly mysterious. Why? Personally, I think it's because even though we have ultrasounds during pregnancy and fetal monitors during delivery, we still can't really see what's going on in there when push comes to shove (literally, sort of). Except someday in the not-too-distant future, all of that could change: There's a new computer program, recently developed by researchers in England, which uses 3D virtual reality to simulate human birth. Incorporating factors such as the size and shape of both the mother's and baby's bodies, the program could potentially save lives by helping doctors and midwives prepare for "unusual or dangerous births." Just check out this shot and you'll see why: