Aunt Becky

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I'm Becky Sherrick Harks, better known as Aunt Becky, and you'll normally find me blathering on my own blog, Mommy Wants Vodka. But I'm here at The Stir to secure Total World Domination, er, discuss how I'm (barely) surviving parenthood.


Sipping on:

Vodka, naturally.

  • Say What!?

    Are You Still in Love With Your Ex?

    posted by Aunt Becky September 2, 2013 at 11:19 AM in Love & Sex
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    So you're hanging out with your new boy and all of a sudden, he leans in to give you a kiss and you're transported back to that one time with your ex. Suddenly, you're bathing in the memories of the good times you and your ex once had, wishing he were beside you and wondering why you're feeling all mixed up.

    Could it be? Could you still be in love with your ex?

    I vote NO.

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    When I threw on that puffy white dress and marched myself down the aisle to say my "I do's" to my husband, I meant every word. Including the "'til death do us part" bit. I'd gloat a little every time someone we knew was having marital problems, because we were destined to MAKE IT.

    I just knew it.

    Until I didn't.

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    I never expected it to be so hard. I know that's what they always say when you're getting a divorce, but it's so true.

    I've never spent so much time feeling like utter dog poo about myself, my life, my goals, and my aspirations. I didn't get married so I could get a divorce. It's not my style. And yet, here I am. On my own for the first time in my life.

    And while it IS hard, I'm surviving. And guess what? You can too.

    Here are some tips I've learned about getting through a divorce.

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    I've never lived alone before.

    No, stop staring at me like that -- I swear, I have good reasons. I got pregnant and waddled from an apartment I shared with my ex back to the house I lived in with my parents so that I could go to nursing school and get a job that pays more than "do you want fries with that?"

    Then, I met and married my husband shortly after graduation, when we bought a condo together. So in all those years, I was always living with someone.

    But July, we decided to divorce after nearly 10 years of marriage and I moved into my own place. Which means that I'm in the process of learning how to live on my own. I couldn't be happier, but it's hard to get used to sometimes. Here's how I'm learning to live alone after my divorce.

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    After announcing my own impending divorce, I was inundated with sweet and kind emails from people who had been long-time readers of my site.

    Many of them offered love and support, a rare bright spot during those dark days.

    Still others told me their story: they'd come home from work to find their husband had left ... for good. They'd woken up to the words, "I want a divorce."

    The problem, they informed me, was that they did not.

    Talk about making an already soul-wrenching situation even worse. Here are some tips for coping with a divorce ... that you don't want.

    Read More
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