Not cool, Snooki, not coolWhen I found out that Snooki was pregnant I kind of started liking her, because, hey, I'm pregnant, too! Twin-sies. But then, when she started opening up her piehole and saying words and stuff, I remembered that, while she's certainly amusing and entertaining, she isn't my favorite-est person in Hollywood. But then when she went and insulted Jessica Simpson's pregnant body -- basically calling her a fat blob of doo; saying she'd "die" if she looked like her -- I was all, "He-ll no. You did not just go and do that."

Is it just me or do guns always seem to wind up in the hands of really irrational people during really inopportune times? Like, take this 30-year-old dude from Idaho who wanted to see a man do the moonwalk so badly that he allegedly threatened him at gun point. I mean, wanting to see the moonwalk and holding a gun, respectively, are two things. But when you put them together and add in a dash of irrationality, well, that right there is a recipe for disaster, my friends.

When my grandmother turned 80, I can't remember exactly what we did to celebrate, but if I were a betting woman, I'd say that, per her request, it involved an Outback Steakhouse and a Carvel cake with "chocolate crunchies." She's a simple woman. A simple woman who has no clue how to use a computer. What does a computer have to do with my grandmother's 80th birthday? Nothing! I told you she can't use one. But Josephine Lamberti, AKA @J_DIMPS, does. And her request for her 80th birthday is 80,000 Twitter followers. And doggone it, the woman's close -- and she's made a boatload of celebrity friends in the process.