Mama to an 1-year-old girl and a 5-year-old shih tzu. Married.
I've blogged for lots o' websites; written essays for McSweeney's and Hackwriters; and worked on a ton of sitcoms. I watch a gross amount of Bravo and HGTV, and am hanging on to the pipe dream that one day I'll own a quaint little B&B somewhere on the coast of Italy. Won't you come visit?
Every day we're bombarded with images of gorgeous celebrities with long, shiny hair, flawless makeup, and perfect skin. And after looking at these women, and then looking at ourselves, we often wind up feeling like shit, because what we're comparing ourselves to is totally unrealistic and unattainable. Why doesn't my hair look like Kim Kardashian's? Because Kim's is fake, honey. Why doesn't my skin look like Gwyneth Paltrow's? Because Gwyneth spends more than we all make in a year to glow like that. It's impossible for the average person to look like a star. So, when a celebrity is brave enough to forgo all makeup and smoke and mirrors and share their insecurities, well, that's just dandy. It makes us, their fans, feel less crappy about our appearances.
Vogue recently released a video that features Katy Perry before the pop star puts on her lashes, her hair, and her makeup. Katy is gorgeous any way you slice it, but in this video, she really, truly is "just like us". Check it out:
Poor Jenelle Evans. She had to take time away from her busy schedule of tweeting, writing things on Twitter, and uploading Twitpics in order to go to the hospital. (But don't worry, she got plenty of tweeting in while she was there!) The Teen Mom was rushed to the ER after her voice box felt "messed up" and after she felt a lump in her throat. But after receiving a battery of tests and x-rays, it looks like it's just a viral infection. Big relief. However, one thing Jenelle isn't too pleased about is the fact that her new boyfriend, Nathan Griffith, wasn't by her side during the ordeal. What a dick. Just kidding. He has a good excuse for not being there.
While Kim Kardashian and her baby deserve some shred of privacy right now, let's not front: We're all secretly hoping that the little bundle of joy becomes a staple in the media circus that is the Kardashian family. Not only will it be fascinating in a low brow kind of way to see bombshell Kim in mama mode, babies are just plain fun. Sweet little Mason and Penelope have brought a (small) sense of innocence to Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Kourtney and Kim Take Miami/New York/Detroit, and baby Kimye will only add to the adorableness. As a spectator, I say yes to seeing Kim's baby on TV.
Who's happier than this kid?Do you have the best, smartest, most well-behaved kids in the world? You don't? No matter! It's easy to make little Billy look like he made the honor roll (again), and little Sally look like she was potty-trained at 4 months on Facebook. All you have to do is follow a few handy-dandy tips. You have an Avid Editing Machine, right? Just kidding! It really is ridiculously easy.
Here are seven ways to make your kids look like the awesome-est on Facebook. Happy lying!
I don't know. There have been all these reports of Kristen Stewart crying her eyes out over Robert Pattinson since their fateful breakup, but she seems a-okay to me. KStew was spotted at a Texas Hooters over the weekend (where else?), and I'll let you guys be the judge: Is this the face of a woman scorned, or someone who just ate a basket-full of boneless wings with a side of spicy garlic sauce? And then looked at boobs.