I'm the mama of a sweet toddler girl; a lover of fine goods; and a big fan of summertime. My musings have appeared on many websites, including Huffington Post; The FashionSpot; and McSweeney's; and in another life, I lived in Los Angeles and worked on sitcoms. I'm constantly rearranging furniture; prefer my laundry to dry on a clothesline; and will never let go of the dream that one day my husband and I will own a quaint hotel somewhere on the coast of Italy. Kids stay free. Breakfast buffet included.
KimKardashian posted a photo of, what else, herself, to Instagram recently, and in the pic she looks gorgeous. I know, alert the newspapers; this is shocking. No, but seriously, we need to talk about this pic for a minute. Because in it, everything about Kim's style transformation is present. And I know there are a lot of people out there who will disagree with me because they think Kim is single-handedly responsible for the downfall of humanity (which maybe she is), but ... it's kind of awesome.
The minute Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth broke up, the world collectively went, "I knew it." Or "Good for him." Or "Man, that guy dodged a bullet." Or some variation of. We've all watched Miley go from cute to quirky to odd to obnoxious to train-wreck-y real quick, and for whatever reason, we felt concerned for Liam's well-being. How will that man ever get another woman?! Said no one ever.
We all thought it was about time he broke things off with the twerking, tongue-wagging, (alleged) weed-loving pop star, only ... when you think back to the couples' break-up, you don't remember a lot of details about what happened, do you? There was a lot of hearsay, but no definitive "Liam broke up with Miley" story. They were just kind of together one minute, the next he was making out with a hot Mexican actress in Las Vegas. So we assumed he was the dumper.
Beyonce is crafty when it comes to what she posts on her Instagram (follower speaking here). She rarely posts selfies or full-on pics of her daughter, instead opting for things like old Destiny's Child photoshoot shots (#TBT); a tropical drink she's enjoying (#TurksandCaicos); or a strategic pic of Blue Ivy, where you can only see half her earlobe (#myboo). But today? Today Bey went balls to the wall, posting not one, but twoup-close and personal bikini shots. And dear lord, if I looked like that, you'd have to physically restrain me from uploading pictures of myself in a bathing suit. Beyonce looks fantastic. (And she is definitely not pregnant for anyone who still believed that rumor.)
Recently, a mom found a dandelion growing out of her toddler's ear. And let's get real: That's crazy. But since the dawn of time, parents have been finding weird crap stuck inside their small children's ears, because, well, kids are idiots. Just kidding.
I conducted a little poll of my own to find out the strange objects moms and dads have pulled from their children's ears, and while the dandelion growth is hard to top, let's just say this: A live, fluttering moth is a close second.
Here are 9 crazy things parents have found in their children's ears.
Like every parent, I instantly became obsessed with my child the minute she was born. After nine months of being convinced I was going to parent "the French way," I melted into a pile of goo as soon as I laid eyes on my daughter, and a lot of the things I wound up doing (and still do) would likely fall into the "attachment parent" category -- something I barely heard of before she was born. Nursing was no walk in the park for me, and we stopped co-sleeping after I brought her into my bed one night and woke up to see that the sheet had crept up over her head (and that we both slept better in separate spaces), but most other things I did could probably be classified as AP. I wore her pretty much everywhere we went; there was never a television on in the house; and I basically just sat and stared at her when she was awake.
But now that I have a running, bouncing, mess-making toddler who can't be left alone for a minute, I'm all ... I could have gotten so much done when she was immobile!