Since becoming a first-time mom nearly three months ago, I've been hearing a lot about this so-called addiction to breastfeeding. A few weeks ago, in fact, a woman I had just met cornered me while I was nursing, asked me how it was going, then leaned over with wide eyes and whispered, "You'll get ... addicted."

Even Salma Hayek admitted her addiction. It feels like women everywhere are vibing on the need to feed. But not me. It's been 11 weeks, and I'm still waiting for that magical feeling.

This morning on Live! With Regis and Kelly, co-host Kelly Ripa paired black pantyhose with a chiffon, polka-dot dress and red heels, explaining that she switched up her usual "childlike" tights out of solidarity with StuckInHose, a guy tweeting his adventures in hosiery since promising a female co-worker he'd wear nylons under his pants.

"I'm not sure why," she told Regis. "You know, it's only 140 characters; we can't get into the why. But every day he comments on my leg wear and he's been feeling like my tights have been too dark and too childlike, so StuckInHose, this one's for you."

But what if Ripa's really on to something and it's time to ditch the kiddie tights and slip into something more mature?

There are plenty of ways to get creative with telling the world you're expecting, like recording a song about the blessed event and putting it on a mix CD for friends or strategically placing that pregnancy test somewhere your husband will see it, but there can also be some really bad, tactless ways to go about it.

Like the maternity t-shirt. You've seen those ads in the pregnancy magazines at your doctor's office: "Bump, Not Plump!" Or for those who want to be more blunt, "Yes, I'm Pregnant." The men's versions are even worse. "My Boys Can Swim" was my husband's favorite when we were expecting. Wearing his 'n' hers t-shirts to the next family picnic is like wearing those old "I'm With Stupid" t-shirts. Don't be that couple!

Here are a few more dumb ways to say you're pregnant: