Jill Smokler

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Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy, writes about motherhood -- the good, the bad and the scary. She's also the New York Times bestselling author Confessions of a Scary Mommy and the soon to be published Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies).


Sipping on:

PiƱa coladas. On the beach. ALONE.

also find Jill here:

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    A good friend of mine is expecting her first child any day. For her baby shower last month, the attendees were asked to jot down a few pieces of advice to pass on to the mom-to-be. Most women came up with great reminders of things to do -- take pictures, keep a baby book, take vacations, etc. -- but when I got home, it dawned on me that the most important things I've learned about parenthood have been the don'ts. Don'ts like these ...

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    Mother's Day. That special day every May, when you show the moms in your life just how special they are to you. If you're scouring the Internet looking for the perfect gift, you've landed in the wrong place; the perfect Mother's Day gift is as individual to each mom as a fingerprint, and what makes my mom happy might make yours start looking through Craigslist for back alley hitmen. Fear not! There are, however, some things husbands and partners should not get their wife under any circumstances ... 

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    You love your kid. You cherish your kid. You adore sharing your life with your kid.

    Obviously.

    But, every once in a while, you ponder what it would be like to pee in peace, eat some chocolate without sharing, or clean up after only yourself.

    You wonder ... WILL MY KID EVER FREAKING MOVE OUT?! 

    Click to find out!

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    Baby showers are one of those things that you either love like rainbows and fluffy kittens or hate with an intensity that cannot be measured. Regardless of how you feel about them, you've probably been invited to at least one, and you also probably had a few minutes of brain meltdown as you pondered the gift you should bring. Unless it's a gag gift party or you just really want to piss off the new mom, there are a few things that you should never gift at a baby shower. Things like these:

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    Congratulations, new dad!

    Are you excited to finally have the woman you married back, now that she's no longer consumed with carrying your offspring? Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but that woman is gone. Forever.

    Since you might have some trouble navigating these uncharted waters, here are some tips for surviving this new stranger called the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with ...

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