My friend Jenny wrote a hysterical post last week on what candy conversation hearts should say once you've been married a while. Things like, "I BOUGHT ANOTHER PAIR OF SHOES, DON’T WORRY THEY WERE ON SALE"; "SHH ... THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS IS ON"; and "NO, I WON’T PUT THAT IN MY MOUTH." You know, real life, none of that "hot stuff" crap.
Her post inspired me to come up with some conversation hearts for my own dear children this Valentine's Day. Lord knows, I've tried every way on Earth to get through to them, why not with candy?
Last week, I told my son to finish his cheeseburger if he expected to eat dessert. I then laughed at the absurdity of having to finish a delicious, juicy burger before going on to chocolate. Oh, to be a child again. I find myself saying these things countless times a day: The things that would only make sense coming from a parent.
Turns out I'm not the only one. Here are 15 things parents on my message boards have uttered lately, much to their dismay ...