Jill Smokler

Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy, writes about motherhood -- the good, the bad and the scary. She's also the New York Times bestselling author Confessions of a Scary Mommy and the soon to be published Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies).

Sipping on:

Piña coladas. On the beach. ALONE.

also find Jill here:

Jill's Latest Posts

25 Ways to Prevent Childhood Boredom

posted by Jill Smokler March 4 at 3:36 PM in Big Kid

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What can I do? Mommy, I'm bored. There's nothing to do here.

I hear those phrases a hundred times a day, despite there being countless things for the children to be doing. I'm assuming that you do, too.

It is quite frustrating since they have rooms full of newly acquired birthday toys and I have the credit card bills to prove it.

But, toys don't keep them occupied for long, so I thought it would be handy to have a list of responses ready for the inevitable "we're bored"s and "what can we do now?"s.

Here goes, dearest children ...
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10 Sex Confessions From Real Moms

posted by Jill Smokler February 25 at 8:10 AM in Love & Sex

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Ever wonder what really goes on behind the bedroom doors of your friends and neighbors? It is Fifty Shades or Married With Children or somewhere in between?

Taking a look through my Scary Mommy Confessions always offers some great insight into the real lives of moms. Here are 10 of my favorite sex-related confessions ...
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10 Baby Experiences I'm Sad I Missed Out On

posted by Jill Smokler February 18 at 8:26 AM in Baby

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I recently came to terms with the fact that I am done having children.

There will be no more cribs in our house, no more bottles to be sanitized and no more diapers to be purchased. And I am fine with that. More than fine, I'm GREAT with that.

But there are a few things I'm sorry that I never had the chance to use or do when my kids were babies ...

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LOL
15 Candy Conversation Hearts for My Children

posted by Jill Smokler February 11 at 3:47 PM in Big Kid

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My friend Jenny wrote a hysterical post last week on what candy conversation hearts should say once you've been married a while. Things like, "I BOUGHT ANOTHER PAIR OF SHOES, DON’T WORRY THEY WERE ON SALE"; "SHH ... THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS IS ON"; and "NO, I WON’T PUT THAT IN MY MOUTH." You know, real life, none of that "hot stuff" crap.

Her post inspired me to come up with some conversation hearts for my own dear children this Valentine's Day. Lord knows, I've tried every way on Earth to get through to them, why not with candy?
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15 Things Only Parents Say

posted by Jill Smokler February 4 at 8:04 AM in Toddler

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Last week, I told my son to finish his cheeseburger if he expected to eat dessert. I then laughed at the absurdity of having to finish a delicious, juicy burger before going on to chocolate. Oh, to be a child again. I find myself saying these things countless times a day: The things that would only make sense coming from a parent.

Turns out I'm not the only one. Here are 15 things parents on my message boards have uttered lately, much to their dismay ...
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