A year ago I did a post about parenting idioms that needed to updated for 2011. I think it’s about time for the 2012 edition. The first part is the actual idiom/quote. The second part I probably need to apologize for.

Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation. Which means you just took a lifelong job with no chance of promotion or advancement. Worst. Job. Ever.

The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven’s lieutenants. Or maybe you should clean your room when God tells you to.

If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others. Because raising an eavesdropper is always the way to go.

What a child doesn't receive, he can seldom later give. Like affection. Or gonorrhea.

I know. I don’t want to talk about it any more than you want to read about it but this shit is going to happen so buckle up, buttercup.

If you have a child, chances are that one day very soon you will have to sit them down and have "THE SEX TALK." Most likely you’ll put it off because they are still far too young to even know what sex is, and occasionally you’re right. I’m 38 and I’m pretty sure my father thinks I’m almost ready for the talk.

It’s important to always be an authentic version of you. Unless you’re an asshole.  Then you can be someone else. Although, now that I think about it, there’s only one you so if you’re pretending to be someone else that's an authentic version of you as well. An authentic version of you pretending to be someone else. And now my head hurts. 

 Let’s start again...