My kids have been chewing gum for so long that I can’t remember any more when I first allowed them to begin. I am certain that many of my friends would say it was WAY TOO EARLY. These are the friends that don’t hide their eye rolls (directed at me) very well when my kids are chomping away in front of theirs, prompting an inevitable round of begging and pleading.

I feel pretty guilty about this, as though my inability to govern my kids has put my pals in a tight spot. But the truth is, of all the annoying things my kids beg for, I find gum low on the list of offenders.

Then, I recently read about a school in Germany that actually encourages young students to chew gum to improve learning. Vindication is mine!

Ever since my husband and I gave up our land line (because we NEVER used it) and decided to rely only on our cell phones, I’ve been obsessed about the possibility that cell phones could cause hurt my kids' brains. Cancer and tumors are totally uncool, and I may have return to my Luddite ways just so I can sleep at night.

Then, the other day I had a thought that made me even further nostalgic for the home main line  --- the art of crank calling.

A couple of Sundays ago, I got a phone call and urgent plea to come and pick up my daughter early from a Harry Potter-themed birthday party. Apparently, the movie was too much for her 6-year-old psyche to take, and the birthday boy’s mother explained that she was very upset. By the time I got there, the movie was already over, but my girl was still distraught -- enough so that she wanted to leave before cake (translation: she was freaking out). Having never seen any of the Harry Potter movies myself, I didn’t think to worry that it would be inappropriate for my kid -- I mean, another mom found it suitable enough to build a party around. Of course, in hindsight I felt like cretin, like I’d put my kid into scalding bathwater because I forgot to test it first.

I figured it was Harry Potter not Hooters. But apparently Hooters parties are also popular.