Born and raised in New Jersey, I'm now in love with my life in California. I have worked on talk shows, children shows and even some porn -- behind the scenes only, of course. I work on entertainment news websites for my day job, but once got a taste of blogging for a mom site and had to come back.
I love all the Real Housewives, Mad Men and Dexter to name a few, but chances are if you've seen it, so have I. I live with my husband, Jason, my 3-year-old daughter Chloe and I can't wait to meet my unborn son who is due to arrive this November.
While watching four twenty-something guys on the MTV show The Buried Life help a stranger give birth to her child as they cross off another item on their list of things to do before you die, it made me think. As a thirty-something gay man, will I ever have an opportunity to see a baby being born?
This conversation came up with one of my closest friends of 10 years, Annie, who happened to be pregnant with her second child and first son. My partner of 10 years and I are basically uncles to her daughter who is 3 and just as close with her husband. Most likely after a glass of Pinot Grigio (or two) I questioned, Would you ever consider me being present for the birth of your son?
As I say goodbye to you once again, I have some parting words. While I'm grateful we met for the second time, I am more grateful we will never meet again. We had our our share of ups -- my weight went up and and I had many nights when I was up all night. And we definitely had our downs -- my motivation to exercise went down as did my tolerance for others.
Although the stint I spent with you felt like it would never end, I'm happy our short time together will give me a real lifetime of happiness. I say with all enthusiasm, "Good Riddance!" Here's what saying goodbye to you means to me ...
I'm so grateful that everyone wants to come help out during the last days of pregnancy, take care of my toddler during labor and deliver, and meet my new baby. My mother offered to come visit. My mother-in-law actually booked her plane ticket. My sister offered to take my toddler to her place. My friends offered to stay at my place and take care of her at home. The problem is that if you don't set some boundaries, it can be harder have help than it is to just be on your own.
Also, if you do accept help from some, how do you not insult others? Here are some guidelines to figuring out how to determine who helps you and when:
I went to the doctor today to get my cervix checked. This is my last appointment before baby. I am scheduled for induction next week. I brought my husband, my DVD so she could add all the cute sonogram images of my baby to it, and I filled out my hospital registration form -- yes I'm late with that.
I was ready to say a huge goodbye to my doctor and her staff when she said to me, "Oh. By the way, Try not to go into labor on Saturday. It's my birthday and I have plans. My husband got me tickets to something."
It started when I was trying to conceive. I kept thinking I was having early pregnancy symptoms, when I was only having PMS. Then, finally pregnant, came the first trimester. I was so flustered from trying to get pregnant, I forgot the first day of my last period.
On to the second trimester when I wasn't really showing and thought maybe I'm not really pregnant. Note: I went to the doctor often, had tests, and saw the sonogram. I think I was just nervous and in denial.
Now, I'm a week away from my induction date and I keep imagining I'm going into labor. I constantly look online to see if my imaginary symptoms are real. The problem is, if you are desperate enough, you can read between the lines and somehow validate whatever you want to believe.