Adriana Velez

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I'm a transplant from the plains of Colorado, now raising a son in the wilds of brownstone Brooklyn where the buffalo mozzarella roam. Before joining The Stir I worked for a start-up grassroots organization and contributed to blogs like Civil Eats and One Little Bite (of the dearly-departed Cookie Magazine) -- all from my lovely window-seat office. Most of the time I'm contemplating my next meal. I love kale and doughnuts equally.

 


Sipping on:

Whole milk

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    Ever feel in the mood for brownies -- but don't want to bake a whole batch, or use the oven? Well hooray for you, there's a recipe for that. You can make a single-serving of brownies using your microwave. Brownie in a cup, anyone? Just mix and nuke, and eat it right out of the mug you cooked it in. Just like that chocolate chip cookie in a cup recipe. No messy bowls to clean up, either. I mean, this recipe is practically cheating, it's so easy.

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    Oh Pat Robertson! You say the silliest things. This week, while he was answering questions on the Christian Broadcasting Network, a woman called in to say her husband had cheated on her and she was having trouble forgiving him. Pat's sage advice? Be grateful for how he provides for you and try harder to make him happy. Seriously. He made excuses for men who cheat and he told the woman to fall back in love with her husband (beg your f*cking pardon?!?). "Does he provide a home for you to live in? Does he provide food for you to eat? Does he provide clothes for you to wear? Is he nice to the children?”

    Okay, so if you're a stay-at-home mom, just shut up and take what you can get from the guy. That's ... awesome. But you know what? That's 100 percent Pat Robertson. Honestly, I don't know why people bother asking his advice for anything, unless for troll bait. Here's a few other crazy things Pat's said.

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    Got a lazy kid? Of course you don't! Kids are NEVER lazy. Har har. Everyone seems to have a different opinion about how much responsibility kids should have, and at what age. I remember being surprised to learn a friend of mine had already taught her 3-year-old how to make his bed. My next thought was, Why isn't my kid making his own bed?

    Because! I hadn't shown him how to, yet. That's why. My 3-year-old was living off the fat of the land, with no responsibilities whatsoever. Well, that put me on notice. There are some household chores a preschooler is capable of taking on. These tasks teach them self-sufficiency and help them feel more a part of their family community. How many chores you assign is up to you and your child, but here's a few you might want to start with.

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    Trying to avoid gluten when dining out can be a pain in the ass -- literally. (Ooh, sorry!) But it's getting better. Five years from now, maybe it won't be such a gamble or hassle. But for now? Celiacs and others avoiding gluten must dine with caution. Some restaurants are making efforts to put special gluten-free items on the menu. And just as important, some have started new kitchen protocols to avoid cross-contamination.

    Meanwhile, there's a few things you can do. April Pevetaux's handy new book, Gluten Is My Bitch, has some great tips for gluten-free dining.

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    Quick, when was the last time your kid saw some other kid's privates? A kid of the opposite gender, I mean? When I was growing up, this was sort of a given. I'm the oldest of five children, so I saw all my sibs' diapers getting changed. And I saw my friends' mothers changing their babies' diapers. And I saw diapers getting changed at church. From an early age, I learned that little boys look different -- and it wasn't a big deal at all.

    So it's just been weird to grow up and discover some people think children should be shielded from the horrifying knowledge that there are babies out there with DIFFERENT GENITALS! I mean, from there it's just a slippery slope of childhood corruption. Sayonara to your little darlings' shattered innocence. Now she knows there's such a thing as a penis -- OH MY GOD, you didn't tell her that's what it's called, did you?!?

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