I'm a writer all over the web! I've contributed news, rants, funny lists, and entertaining academic fakery at XOJane, The Hairpin, The Barnes and Noble Book Blog, and The Toast, to name but a few. When not writing for the Internet, I spend my time writing plays and taunting my cat with bits of pretzel that I will ultimately not let him have.
There's good, there's great, and then there's coffee
Kim Kardashian owes Khloe Kardashian a HUGE apology. I mean, I guess technically she owes it to her in the past, so there's no real means of accomplishing them unless Kanye West can hook her up with the Doctor and his TARDIS -- a thing which seems vastly unlikely. This week on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the vacation to Thailand utterly fell apart due to a variety factors. Khloe wanted to leave early, and Kim, annoyed and upset by this, expressed herself like every grown woman made infamous by the size of her bottom and her sex tape -- she basically called her sister a whore.
Okay, okay, the 'w' bomb wasn't lobbed -- Kim isn't THAT tone deaf. But what she said was so much worse! Khloe was desperate to go home and take care of Rob Kardashian (who she feels a lot of responsibility for). Plus the vacation hadn't proved to be the respite from the grief of her divorce that she planned. I don't blame her for wanting to go home, but Kim did.
Sister Wivesmay be over for the season, but that doesn't mean the drama between the wives is finished! We saw that was true in tonight's special "tell-all" episode. What started off seeming like a dull but sweet recap of the just-completed 5th season quickly took a turn when Christine Brown stormed off the stage in the middle of an interview. We'd expect this from the Housewives, but the Sister Wives? Never.
I'm making it sound like Christine was moments away from flipping a table which isn't remotely true -- but she was clearly upset. Though her polite request to leave was never brought up again while the cameras rolled, it was suggested via voice-over that Robyn Brown's current plans for pregnancy might be upsetting Christine. Robyn apparently insisted that no questions about more children for the family be asked for the remainder of the evening.
I cannot get over how great this story is. We hear tales all the time of police brutality and of families being torn apart -- it's become common. What we don't hear so much these days are the stories of the good cops out there who go WAY above and beyond the call of duty in the name of doing what's right. That's what one awesome police officer in Kansas did for one family, and it's kind of too great to be believed.
Lt. Travis Pierce responded to a terrifying call. A toddler had escaped from his home and was running down the busy highway. Pierce scooped up the tyke not long before his TOTALLY FRANTIC (and who can blame her?) mother showed up. The woman was in total hysterics -- her kid is a known escape artist. The cop could have called child protective services or given her a stern lecture -- but he did something that wasn't just nicer, but something that was actually HELPFUL.
Oh my God, this show. This week, on LeAnn & Eddie, Eddie Cibrian continued to behave as though he were the star of a romantic comedy called Sexy Turtlenecks, Sex-Having, and Merlot and LeAnn Rimes continued to try and make it appear as though her life is complex and her personality gripping and enigmatic. NONE OF THESE GOALS WERE ACHIEVED.
My biggest take-away this week was that LeAnn "accidentally" taking the girls to a gay country bar where she was "dragged on stage to sing" might be the fakest thing I have ever seen: And I watch reality television professionally, so really that is saying something. Under the guise of returning to her country roots, LeAnn and her girlfriends went to a gay country bar where they did several Jell-o shots. Because ... that is authentically Southern? IT IS NOT. I went to college in Tennessee and I can thoroughly assure you that if you aren't sipping whiskey, you can see yourself out.
Leah Remini's show It's All Relative keeps getting funnier -- because Leah makes it her business to surround herself with hilarious people. Let this be a lesson to us all. This week she and her daughter's nanny Trish were running errands. If you or I were doing this, it would be totally ho-hum. But because of the personalities involved here, it was a hilarious delight. Whyfore? Because Trish is a total hoarder and Leah caught her in the act. Bling THAT, Trish!
This episode could have become a "very special episode" so easily. The look on Leah's face when she saw the mountains and mountains of stuff blocking Trish's house was priceless. I seriously thought she was just moments away from dialing up the folks at Intervention or Hoarders to see if they could get Trish some help. Luckily, she addressed the situation in the least conflict-inducing way possible: With comedy.