I'm a writer all over the web! I've contributed news, rants, funny lists, and entertaining academic fakery at XOJane, The Hairpin, The Barnes and Noble Book Blog, and The Toast, to name but a few. When not writing for the Internet, I spend my time writing plays and taunting my cat with bits of pretzel that I will ultimately not let him have.
There's good, there's great, and then there's coffee
Andrew Sturby may be gone, but that doesn't mean the gasp-worthy moments on Below Deckare over. Oh no, far from it! In fact, today we saw the last crew member imaginable totally lose it when the charter guests got way, way, out of line.
Look, I get it, working in customer service is no easy task and sometimes you've got to just suck it up. But no matter how much money you have, the people who are "serving" you? Yeah, they are still people.
Chief Stew Kate Chastain totally blew her stack. Here's the thing though -- I don't blame her, and I don't think anyone else watching would either. It was actually really sad to see the whole incident play out. That's because Kate began the charter with such high hopes! Coming off the last rude bunch, Kate was convinced that this group was being helmed by her "charter soulmate". Pretty quickly, however, she realized this was not the case.
19 Kids & Counting is back, better, and busier than ever before! Clearly, family is somewhat important to Jim Bob Duggar (gee, ya think, Rebecca?). With his daughter Jill Duggar engaged to marry Derick Dillard in just three short months (excuse me as I breathe into this paper bag at the very idea of planning a party for 1000 people in less than a year), Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have marriage on the mind.
To that end, Jim Bob proposed something super savvy. He asked Jessa Duggar's boyfriend Ben Seewald if he'd be interested in coming to live in the guest house so he could move things forward with his beloved.
I was floored by this gesture! Not just because it was exceptionally generous (Jim Bob will also being employing the dude), but in part because it was such ingenious parenting. Jessa and Ben's courtship has been stymied by the four hours keeping them apart. This is something that might please other parents -- but not the Duggars!
You know who looked totally stunning on the second installment of The Real Housewives of Orange County reunion? Shannon Beador. She's got every reason to be glowing, which she revealed to both Andy Cohen and all of us at home watching this episode while using the cheap stair-stepper they force themselves to employ during reality television binges ... no, just me? Moving on. Vicki Gunvalson may have been the voice of wisdom this season, but it was Shannon whose life was actually changed for the better by the show. I know! Reality television saved a marriage! Say it with me now -- Jigga what?
Shannon was as open and honest during the reunion as she was this season on the show. She'd previously mentioned that David Beador's early to bed, early to rise sleep schedule really kept them from connecting. Some of the women thought she was actually TOO open, to which I say this: Tamra Judge, you bought a robot baby. *Drops mic, bows, leaves stage.*
Now, as I said last night, I LOVE Rich Kids of Beverly Hills stars Morgan Stewart and her BF Brendan Fitzpatrick. I want to sip chardonnay with Morgs and let Brendan talk me into buying a piece of luxury real estate that I cannot afford. (It will be like a modern-day Guy de Maupassant story! #tragic #french #moneycantbuyyouclass.) So imagine my despair tonight as Brendan totally missed the mark when it came to listening to his girlfriend.
Morgan and Brendan wound up babysitting for Brendan's #adorable niece. (Note: I will try to keep this post light on the hastags, but I make no promises and for this I #blametheshow.) Morgan had a great time, but when she talked about motherhood with her own mother, Susan Stewart, she got a severe case of cold feet. She took her concerns to Brendan who misread her utterly.
One thing is for certain: Kim Kardashian had more patience as a bride than I ever would. We're talking some serious Zen. I couldn't do it. I mean, not even if a lot of wine and some manner of prescription sedative were factored into the equation. On the season finale of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kim kept her cool throughout her bananas-wedding spectacular. Between Bruce Jenner refusing to lob off his ponytail, Kylie Jenner's blue hair, and Khloe Kardashian's hangover, I would have gone full-on Bridezilla three minutes into the day -- but not Kim!
Evidence as to why she should maybe be sainted: She cheerfully procured a new set of designer bridesmaid gowns the DAY BEFORE HER WEDDING when she learned her 'maids weren't feelin' the previously selected gown. If Kim had the ability to shoot lasers from her eyes, I feel that gift would have been shared on this very special episode. Thankfully (or sadly, depending on your POV), this did not occur.