I live in Eugene, Oregon with my husband and our sons Riley (8) and Dylan (6). Prior to 2010 I spent many years as a software marketer, these days I work from home as a freelance writer. I enjoy high-quality ballpoint pens, exercise-induced endorphins, dark TV dramas, and things that smell like coconut.
Reddit has an amazing thread happening today that's titled "Can you tell us a scary story in five words or less?" In terms of upsetting readers in just a few words, I didn't think anything could top the infamous line that's attributed to Ernest Hemingway, "For sale: baby shoes, never worn," but Reddit users have been doing a bang-up job of making the most of their assigned brevity.
I've pulled some of the best stories that have been posted so far, and added some creepy images just to heighten the yeesh factor. Turn on all the lights, lock the doors, and enjoy.
This is actually Hayden's second arrest, since he was booked on charges of molestation of a juvenile and aggravated crimes against nature on August 9. At the time, Hayden claimed they were false claims made by the child's mother, but now the child herself has come forward with some extremely upsetting allegations.
Trigger warning: descriptions of sexual abuse ahead.
So Miley managed to pick an advocate with a criminal record, since he was busted a few years back for a drug-related burglary attempt. I'm sorry, I know I'm supposed to focus on Miley Cyrus' campaign to highlight the work being done at My Friend’s Place, but I'm kind of hung up on the fact that 1) it's pretty hard to feel sorry for this guy, and 2) I can't believe he figured it would be a good idea to appear on national television with an open warrant for his arrest.
I don't know if you've been obsessively keeping track of AMC's teaser clips for season 5 of The Walking Dead, but there are a couple of interesting ones that have come out lately. One gives us the briefest of glimpses at what appears to be Terminus citizens entering Rick's boxcar in an extremely disturbing manner, and the other shows Rick delivering a threat to Gareth.
Did I say threat? I'd say given the fact that this is the new and improved Rick who's here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and he's all out of bubblegum (on account of supplies being a problem in the apocalypse and all), it's more of a promise. "These people are my family," he says. "And if you hurt them in any way ... I will kill you." Rick's got balls, but the background sounds and visuals in these clips make it look like this Walking Dead season is going to be a straight-up horrorshow. Plus, a brand new theory is emerging about what Terminus is really all about.
When I was a kid, I was absolutely obsessed with Bill Cosby's Himself album. I had the LP and I'd play it over and over, laughing like a loon each and every time. Years later when I worked in a video shop, I'd put the VHS version on the monitors scattered throughout the store and watch as customers would cluster around a TV and snicker at Cosby's dramatic reenactment of his and his wife's Lamaze breathing: "Zup wuff snuff whoosh, push, push."
I listened to that stand-up routine so much I can still recite entire bits word for word, but it's only now that I have children that I truly realize the depth of his genius. Bill Cosby captured more parenting truths in that one album that anyone has ever published before or since, and I swear, not a day goes by that I don't find myself mired in some kid-related frustration and think to myself, Bill Cosby told me this would all happen ... 30 YEARS AGO.