Harry Potter

I'm an 8-year-old only kid who loves being awesome. I moonlight as an actor, know way more about cryptozoology than you probably do, and believe grilled cheese is the greatest invention ever. Broccoli makes me gag, so don't even try. Twenty years from now you'll recognize me as a best-selling author/illustrator, or the person who finally proves that Bigfoot exists. 

Sipping on:

Chocolate milk

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    Here are some very dangerous battle things that kids should do before they turn 9. They should do them because this might help them later in their lives when a dragon tries to attack them.

    Also, it might help them in case a giant zombie robot attacks their family and tries to burn the world down to ashes. Plus these are really fun and they are only for boys.

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    I'm really not sure what their deal is, but my parents are constantly bugging me about either going to bed early or sleeping in so that they can get more sleep too. (They're really selfish like that. It's so annoying.)

    And I don't know what makes them think that forcing me to go to bed at 8 p.m. or begging me not to wake them up before 6 o'clock in the morning will ever make me change my ways. I'm a kid, for crying out loud, and I'll sleep when I wanna sleep and get up when I wanna get up.

    But maybe there are a few things they could do to try and convince me to stay asleep a litttttlllle bit longer every night.

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