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Mom Confession: I Never Wanted to Be a Mother
Do you know the real reason so many moms are staying home for a quiet New Year’s Eve? It’s not because they are “too tired” or “don’t have babysitters." It's because they're at home, gettin’ some. Research shows it's true: 9 percent of conception in the United States takes place in December, specifically between Christmas and New Years.
It makes sense -- there's drinking, holiday joy, and hopefulness. And because it's cold and flu and sinus season, more people are taking antibiotics, which can render birth control useless. Of course we all get pregnant in December.
But, take it from me, December is not the month you want to conceive.
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More disturbing news about Amber Portwood ... The Teen Mom star is rumored to be on suicide watch while in jail, and according to sources, she is trying to 
I’ve had to defend a lot of my parenting choices to my family, including, but not limited to, refusing to baptizing my child, not marrying (but living with) his father and living in another state. The one I find myself defending the most, inexplicably, is that I make all his food (except prunes -- how do you make prunes?).
I hesitate to write this. A sense of fear is seizing me and every cell in my brain is yelling "shut the hell up." Every time I talk about it, it backfires. Just last week, when I broke down and dared utter those unspeakable words to my best friend, I was punished good. But this constant avoidance of the topic that literally rules my universe is too hard. I just have to tell someone:
It's been a little unclear how exactly they are turning What to Expect When You're Expecting, the "bible of American pregnancy," into a movie. However, when the A-list cast -- including Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, and Elizabeth Banks -- was announced, it was obvious they weren't making a movie version of the book's frightening -- yet enlightening -- depiction of how the pregnant female body's internal organs get squished to nothing while an upside-down child grows into that painful position. In fact, with actresses who can deliver the humor like Banks and Diaz can, I've been hoping for a good comedy. Pregnancy is so humiliating, and our humiliation can be quite hilarious when it's done in a smart, real, authentic way, and when the story is delivered by awesome actresses.
