14 Voicemail 'Transcription Fails' That Should Get These Smartphones in Trouble

This appointment sounds like so much more than just a cut and highlights. It could be time to find a new place -- or bring a bodyguard instead of items for the food bank. Or, of course, simply laugh this one off with your stylist.

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Wow, that CVS pharmacy is straight up harsh on this lady. But as Stephanie points out, "#noonecanprouncemyname." We get the feeling she's probably heard that one before -- or worse.

First of all, the term "cannibal hospital" is definitely disconcerting, but then this caller goes on to talk about a lady with a banana. We don't want to hear any more!

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Wow, we knew banks were increasing their services to stay competitive but we didn't know they'd branched out into this terrain. They'd better be careful or they'll stumble upon a customer who's interested in taking them up on that!

Oh, Verizon, we do not think this is what you meant to say at all! At least we hope not. Still, we can't help but wonder what "package" this customer has. 

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"Apple get it together, my mom did not say this," Emily, the owner of this cell phone, wrote. This is probably not a transcription fail: "... you know he looks 12..." -- and that's what we want to know more about. 

Agent Jay quickly became Asian Jay thanks to this transcription fail. At least it provided the recipient with a good laugh, as the poster captions this "#cantstoplaughing."

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This caption is priceless: "I don't think FedEx was calling about shipping #farts...but the pranking possibilities would be endless!" So true. 

This reminds us a bit of when Alec Baldwin referred to his daughter as a "thoughtless little pig." Still, we have to imagine the transcription gods had their way with this dad's message because it seems like their relationship is solid.

We love that the instructions call for Kelsey to stay hydrated for whatever it is that's about to happen to her. Fortunately, the caption says it all:  "I assure you this voicemail is not a reminder for 'slut dinner' but rather my appointment with Oxford Blood Center."

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You'd hope your little brother wouldn't leave you a message like this one -- especially not ahead of a women's march! We have a feeling big sis straightened this out right away! 

Some people like to get really creative with their pet names, but something tells us this lady did not name her cat after a sex toy! 

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Wow, that's no way to approach Mom about a sleepover! Wonder if this kid got in trouble for this? We think not based on his mom's cool reaction: "Pretty sure that Tyver didn't swear at me at any point in this voicemail... lol thanks #voicemailtranscriptionfail."

This has to be the most extreme reaction to a "loss of power" that we've ever heard about. Bet the school wishes it could rescind this transcription! Can't wait to hear/read the update.