Woman's Unexpected Port-a-Potty 'Ride' Is the Stuff of Nightmares

port-a-pottyFile this one under My Worst Nightmare Come True: An extremely unfortunate woman at an outdoor festival in Cornwall, England, was using a port-a-potty (everybody's least favorite thing about outdoor festivals) when the portable toilet got picked up by a forklift!!

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I know, I know -- I can hear your anguished screams of disgust all the way from here! Known as “the best and biggest celebration of the sea, seafood and fishing in the UK,” the Newlyn Fish Festival appears to be a fairly top-notch affair, but apparently their handling of temporary restroom facilities leaves something to be desired. Because no one -- I repeat, no one -- should ever be forced to experience a flying port-a-potty ride, especially when they thought they were just signing up for a standard stationary port-a-potty experience. (Which, I think we can all admit, is bad enough.) But that's what happened: The lady went in the port-a-potty, a forklift came along and picked it up, the lady was transported to the other side of the festival (still in the port-a-potty), and then she came out. Physically unharmed, thankfully, but what of her mental scars??

"I think she was suffering from a bit of shock or she thought she had teleported across to the other side of the harbour,” said "harbour master" Rob Parsons. (Not sure what the stateside translation of "harbour master" would be.) 

More from The Stir: Port-o-Potty Pervert Makes Peeing in Public Toilets Even More Disgusting 

Teleported, indeed!! Or maybe she thought her most bizarre and smelly nightmare was unfolding IRL, because I've never imagined teleporting to be quite such a clumsy affair. Weirdly enough, however, this kind of thing apparently is not at all unheard of: 

Mark Kempthorne, director of portable toilet company Andyloos, said it was not the first time a forklift driver had picked up a toilet with somebody inside. (This time, though, it wasn't one of his guys who was responsible.) Still, he says, the mistake was an easy one to make, as drivers "go in through the back entrance" to pick up the toilets.

"It does happen quite a bit to be honest," he said. "I've done it a few times."

Oh well. That's comforting. Actually it's not. I would say it's more validating, as in, this story has completely validated my own personal port-a-potty phobia. Looks like I'll be peeing in the woods from now on! 


Image via Elliott Brown/Flickr 

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