Insanely Brilliant Panda Fakes Pregnancy for VIP Treatment

panda fakes pregnancy
Ai Hin, a 6-year-old giant panda living at the Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Research Center in China, may be the world's smartest panda. In fact, she may be the world's smartest animal period. You're probably thinking that I'm exaggerating, but when's the last time you managed to fool people into giving you a luxury suite and round-the-clock gourmet meals?

Ai Hin began showing signs of pregnancy a couple months ago, and research officials had been preparing to set up a live feed to broadcast her birth. People were extremely excited, being as how pandas are endangered and famously difficult to breed, but sadly it turns out Ai Hin is a big fat LIAR. That's right, a panda faked her pregnancy in order to get special treatment.

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At least that's the running theory from researchers. Officials noticed Ai Hin showing telltale signs of pregnancy such as eating and moving significantly less than usual, at which point she was immediately elevated to Panda VIP Status, which includes an upgraded room and extra food.

According to panda expert Wu Kongju,

After showing prenatal signs, the ‘mothers-to-be’ are moved into single rooms with air conditioning and around-the-clock care. They also receive more buns, fruits, and bamboo, so some clever pandas have used this to their advantage to improve their quality of life.

Maybe you're wondering why they couldn't actually confirm her pregnancy. It turns out vets and zookeepers often can't tell if a panda is pregnant until she delivers. The fetus usually can't even be located via ultrasound, because it's so small and does not implant itself in the uterus until about 45 days before delivery.


I asked my husband, noted panda hater, to comment on this fascinating news, and he reports that it only further cements his position that pandas cannot be trusted:


I for one am impressed by Ai Hin's ingenuity and perhaps even a little inspired. I'm not saying it would be right to fake a pregnancy in order to take over the thermostat, have lots of extra naps, and consume at least one pint of gelato per night, but I'm saying it sounds awesome. Bravo to you, giant panda! They should give her extra buns just for being smarter than the humans.

Well, and also because you never know when the pandas will rise up and turn against us.

Ai Hin: smart panda or smartest panda?


Image via fortherock/Flickr

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