'My Prostitute Isn't Pretty Enough' & 5 Other Dumb 911 Calls (PHOTOS)

street walkerIn today's daily dose of crazy, we have a man who called 911 for the most shocking of reasons -- to complain that the prostitute he had hired wasn't pretty enough. Yes, really.

Actually, he dialed 999 because it happened in the UK, but same difference. According to the Express & Star, he thought authorities should go after her for "breaching the Sale of Goods Act" for "making herself out to be better looking than she was."

I can only imagine how much composure it took the operator not to tell the guy he was out of his effing mind. Instead, he was advised that hiring prostitutes is illegal, and he got off with a warning letter. The whole thing would be completely unbelievable except for the fact that there are plenty of other ridiculously stupid reasons people call 911 -- here are five more of them.

What's the most bizarre reason you've heard of someone calling 911?


Image via Banalities/Flickr

  • A Biting Poltergeist


    Image via Yvonne Esperanza/Flickr

    In Riverton, Wyoming, 911 recently got a call that a woman was being attacked by a biting poltergeist. According to MSN, police weren't able to find any evidence of the demon that had been "breaking things and biting people," as the caller reported.

  • Don't Blame Him, It's the Satellites Calling


    Image via <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/18259771@N00/3168212588/in/photolist-5PXVdY-5PXWjC-6xqZvx-bsk1h2-bsk2pa-bsk2Kr-bsk1PH-bsk1z6-bsk2cX-bsk2Ae-a7GQ9r-b6jWE-bBx76a-b6jWF-bC2A5Z-bzL52d-7S3Tfo-7VuVom-epZCJW-48Wn2U-6Cxqh-dR6oM8-aDRXNk-5rgCGb-aoTSKK-aoTSXH-ai5kZF-4Fof7J-9paPFJ-5rgDd7-5rgDiE-5rgD51-7Usn49-7UsnbA-FSUAC-5bc71h-e4kEVu-7UVEqd-4Xburx-dLx7s4-b7okzK-bBx6Yr-bBx7cr-4Xbugk-9YxjsP-88zYhG-7S3Tt1-8KNZ8S-f

    A California man has called 911 more than 100 times in a month, but he says it's not his fault -- it's the satellites controlling his body that are making the calls. He told CBS, "My brain, I can feel it starting. I'm blasted by the signals, every couple of minutes. I yell and I scream, 'Stop it, I don't need this,' but they never listen." He says he'll keep calling until Congress investigates.

  • For a Cheeseburger


    Image via The CulinaryGeek/Flickr

    In February a man called 911 nine times in one night because he was jonesing for a cheeseburger, and he wondered if they would just bring him one. No such luck -- he wound up in jail instead.

  • To Take Him on a Beer Run


    Image via sylvar/Flickr

    Last summer a man from Columbia, Tenn., felt he needed just a few more brewskies. Not knowing what else to do, he called 911. The call started like this: "Hey, you want to take me to the store? I want to go to the store to get me a beer. I’ll pay you." It ended with police picking him up and running him right to jail.

  • Because She Wanted a Divorce


    Image via <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/45359092@N00/48191114/in/photolist-5fZxh-91cQdM-2KdfKA-bzbAcb-eyEWET-eyEXUz-5hCV9c-8f4kLG-8f4guA-8f12Vk-8f15Lk-4yVnpU-4yVkho-8eZXwz-8eZUua-eDGay-HtPdr-HtG67-HtGRA-8MiEc-3cXcU-3aRAg8-aLYfvZ-bs8EVi-4ZvDHZ-aLYfv2-6vYqTU-dx9674-GUrsc-dVvjYD-51jCyu-6E2f54-bs2yZ5-68X73U-gs4em-e4ctD5-e4ctif-e46R2T-e4ctaG-e4ctsL-9na2k-bvaVg-dCZxxt-5Pm41G-6Q6hFj-9d3WYz-a3tiDa-J6dft-4tjWjH-aLak

    Just a few months back, a woman in Pennsylvania was fed up with her husband and wanted out of her marriage. Rather than consult an attorney, she decided to call 911 to request a divorce. Not surprisingly, it didn't work.

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