You guys may not know this about me, but I'm a Gen X Lifestyle Expert, which means part of my job entails nostalgically recalling all the fun things that came out from the '70s through the early '90s, and I do so with love and a mild obsession. Which is why I can't understand why all the totally awesome characters that were popular with my generation needed to be glittered, glammed, and slutified for my kids.
Do you remember the innocence of Polly Pocket, how she just bent at her midsection? The chubby cheeks of a Rainbow Brite and her entourage? Of course you do, because that was what made them adorable and innocent like us.
They didn't look like they were on their way to go clubbing with Ke$ha. They didn't have curves and they certainly didn't don body-hugging unitards that Madonna would call too racy for an awards show.
Now, they come with cocktails and cellphones, though it looks like some of them should come with an IUD ... or at least a morning-after pill.