My son has a case of IDWS (I Don Wanna-gota Skools). You know that illness that causes you to try any tactic to avoid the dreaded S-word?

Just today, he told me that he couldn't go to school because his stomach hurt ... and his leg ... and his elbow ... and he may have had a nasty hang nail .... REALLY? This is what you're going with? The old stomach/leg/elbow ache? Listen kiddo, I invented the 'sick' ploy and frankly, I expected more from you. So much more.

Look kids, don't act like you're disappointed too. I've got your number and I'm pretty sure my kid isn't the only one relying on such amateur techniques. Which is why I decided (as a seasoned pro) to give you youngsters some sound advice so you can stop embarrassing yourselves and make us proud.

These tips will help you gain your parent's sympathy and maybe even regain their respect. Good luck:

Have you ever helped your fourth grader with his or her homework? It can be surprising how little you remember from school, right? Doesn't it make you feel like an idiot sometimes? But the moms at one elementary school probably all knew the answer to one homework question recently sent home with their kids. A teacher at a school in Arizona reportedly gave her fourth graders some homework that had a decidedly adult question on it. The question asked "what was happening" when a married woman finds a hair clip that doesn't belong to her in her bedroom -- and which has another woman's hair in it. I'm thinking this question was meant for potential participants in the show Cheaters, not for fourth graders.

A funny thing happened this past week. I just gotta tell you! Our school had a Science Night and offered an extra credit pasta bridge building contest. So, my 12-year-old Cara came home, wielding her paper with very detailed rules and regulations, all excited to enter the contest and build a pasta bridge!

I wanted to be excited for her, but once I read all the rules with things like “pasta can only be two centimeters or less wide,” and "the bridge must measure blah blah long,” and “you can only glue the pasta two layers thick,” and finally “the bridge that weighs the least and can hold the most weight will win” -- my eyes were glazed and I felt worried! There's just something about being a mom and NEEDING to help your child do their best, but I knew I was way out of my league here! I can surely cook a mean pasta dish, but build with it? Not this momma! But, we proceeded.

After spending almost 12 years as a mom, I have come to the conclusion that nearly all parenting struggles boil down to one core problem: Kids have minds of their own. Who knew?! Thinking thoughts for themselves, exercising free will all over the place. Wanting things we don't want for them, doing the opposite of what we need them to do. The nerve of these ungrateful creatures!

Just kidding -- mostly. Obviously we gave birth to babies, not robots. We didn't have kids just to order them around. But the fact of the matter is, sometimes we really do need them to listen/behave/do as they're told, etc. Particularly in scenarios involving oncoming traffic ("I told you not to play near the street!"), possible infectious disease transfer ("Wash your hands!"), dental hygiene ("Brush! Now!"), education ("Time for homework!"), and so on and so forth.

Have you ever looked at your kid's homework and thought, The hell?! I'm not talking about the actual work your kid does, I'm talking about those standardized worksheets and pages torn out of books along perforated lines -- before your child even sharpens his pencil. You know, the part of your kid's homework that's supposed to be guaranteed mistake-free. Except sometimes it's not. I've seen my kids bring home everything from phonics assignments with typos (really?!) to vocabulary drills with incorrect definitions. My personal favorite? Those photocopied-to-death "learning about money" worksheets, which require your child to look at an assortment of smudgy gray "coins" and somehow magically figure out the sum. Is that a nickel? A quarter? Who knows? It's a circle!

Anyway, my point is sometimes kids are smarter than the material that's supposed to be educating them.

My first grader brings home homework four nights a week, and I hate it. It's not the homework itself, which is based in math and science. I'm thrilled she's learning complex calculations at such an early age. But why does she have to drill when the school day is over? When, in fact, the main reason she goes to a progressive school is the lack of testing and, one would assume, homework.

I'll tell you why. We live in America, and the American parents stood up last year to demand homework for our 5- and 6-year-olds. It's just too bad that those who wanted to see a little cutie sitting at his tiny desk doing homework didn't realize that this logic is hurting our children academically instead of preparing the little tykes for lifelong success. And the homework glut is not doing much for getting everything done before bedtime, either. Homework has got to go.

I'm pretty darn thrilled that Michelle Obama has joined CafeMom and is answering moms' questions. I think my favorite so far has to be this one from Mellypoo. She asked about how Michelle and Barack manage to give their daughters' education attention when they're both so busy, often running literally to the ends of the earth.

How do you and the President, as a parenting team, balance the incredible demands on your time with the growing educational needs of your daughters? How do you both ensure that your presence is felt at times when duty to the nation requires one or both of you to be half the world away from them on any given day? Are you able to sit down with the girls and participate in their homework assignments with regular frequency, or even daily?  

I have to admit, Michelle's answer made me just a little bit envious. It sounds like they make it work because they're fortunate enough to have a third parent in their family!

I remember the feeling when I finally finished school and the one thing I felt most free from was homework. There were some teachers who piled on hours of homework, and others who gave just a little. Generally, I found that the less homework a kid has, the better he or she will learn. It's just like now as an adult with work. No one wants to take work home with them, but it happens ... a lot in most cases. On those days you leave work only to have to work through the night at home, you feel drained. Like your mind has no time to recoup. As if all you ever think about is work.

It's the same for kids with homework. France is keen to this and may ban homework. I think this is a great idea.