Remember your prom proposal? When a guy scuffled up to you in the hallway after class and mumbled something that sounded like, "So prom. Would ya?" And that was considered romantic?

I admit I'm almost wistful for those days. Back when kids were just kids. Before kids started shooting TV commercials, dressing up like Pokemon characters, and making life-sized snow sculptures to convince their crush to attend the big dance.

Or maybe I'm just jealous that both of my prom proposals were so tame they're pretty much unmemorable (hey, at least I remember their names!). Either way, it has to be said that asking someone to prom has gotten wildl. Just check out what kids are doing these days:

So I recently read a story by a mom who was afraid she'd turned her daughter into a hypochondriac by letting her watch too many TV medical dramas and shows about bizarre conditions, and I instantly knew exactly what she was talking about: My almost 12-year-old daughter is obsessed with crime shows like Law & Order: SVU and CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. And at first, I was similarly concerned about the sometimes gruesome and probably inappropriate content and its potential to warp her still-developing mind. Should a tween girl have visions of dead hookers dancing in her head? Most likely not. But then something happened that put a completely different perspective on my daughter's TV viewing habits. Not only am I no longer concerned about her morbid fascination with crime shows, I'm HAPPY about it. Here's why:

Did you notice your teenager was quieter than usual today? No, it wasn't hormones. Today is the annual Day of Silence, the one day a year when kids zip their lips to show support for their LGBT peers who are forced on a daily basis to keep their mouths shut about who they really are out of fear of retribution.

They're sending a powerful message to the world without saying a word, and it's not just about the rights of gay kids in America.

A lot of teenage girls stress about prom -- who they’ll go with, what they’ll wear, etc. Katelyn Norman’s only concern was getting to experience it at all. The 14-year-old Tennessee girl has been battling bone cancer for two years, and recently found out that treatments are no longer working. So she made a bucket list and added prom to it.

Thanks to some awesome people, Katelyn got her prom. Her family contacted the school district and they planned a dance the very same week. Unfortunately, she was rushed to the hospital for breathing difficulties. This sweet girl told her teachers “the prom must go on.”

In today’s edition of what-the-eff news, some British schools have banned childhood best friends. The students have been discouraged from pairing off in primary schools in Kingston, South West London, and Surrey, to spare the children the emotional pain of breaking up.

Gaynor Sbuttoni, an educational therapist, says, “They are doing it because they want to save the child the pain of splitting up from their best friend. But it is natural for some children to want a best friend. If they break up, they have to feel the pain because they’re learning to deal with it.”

It's the sort of thing mothers think but don't say out loud. So I'm going to say it. There are times when your kid comes home from school babbling about a new friend that leave you cold. THAT kid? Really? My kid had to make friends with THAT kid? The one whose dad is in prison/mom cooks meth/uncle is the village idiot?

Go ahead, Moms and Dads, let it out. You've thought it. And if you haven't, I've got a question for you.

I'm not going to lie to you all and tell you that I was always punctual, but becoming a parent has put a whole new spin on my excuses for being late to meetings, lunches, parties, and appointments.

Back in the day, I was late because of normal stuff, you know, my hair didn't look just right, my alarm clock didn't go off, there was traffic on 95. When my kids were babies, it was explosive diarrhea, Exorcist-style spit-ups, and tantrums that all seemed to happen within moments of us leaving.

Now, between me barely keeping my head on straight and my kids being out of their minds, it's excuses like this:

Sorry I'm late but ...

The other day a friend told me that my 6-year-old has a boyfriend. Her daughter overheard this from a classmate at lunch who was sitting at another table and may or may not know the deal. Questionable intelligence, but still.

I couldn't be sure where my super gregarious but also sensible daughter stood on the "relationship" continuum. And what does a first-grade relationship look like anyway? Is it a name-only thing? Is there hand-holding? Seat saving? More?

The whole concept of kids having so-called boyfriends and girlfriends has always been ridiculously adorable to me. A close friend of mine has twin boys slightly older than my twin girls and from birth we've been talking up their Brady-Bunch-style double wedding. When they were infants we'd line them up on the couch, their heads uncontrollably leaning on each others' shoulders, and take tons of semi-embarrassing pictures. We'd joke about our shared grandchildren.