The relationship between two of Tinseltown’s beautiful people has skidded into that special place in hell where bitter old love affairs go: scathing post-breakup hatred. In their latest installment of off-screen drama, Gabriel Aubrey has been investigated for child endangerment after he allegedly pushed the nanny while she was holding his daughter, and Halle Berry’s petitioning to move to France, which will make her joint custody arrangement conveniently inconvenient for her ex. Checkmate.

I, for one, think Halle needs to take a breather from romance. Just to get her head together. She hasn’t even gotten her old house in order and made respectable arrangements with ol’ Gabe and she’s off and running with a new dude, supposedly engaged to Olivier Martinez. (Which is also interesting since she swore up and down on several occasions that she’d never get married again. Eh, who can figure it out?)

Growing up as the daughter of a single mother, I swore I'd never be a single mom myself. My mother did her best, as I think most of us do, but I was well aware of the fact that her situation -- our situation -- was far from ideal. My mother worried about money, and with good reason (we were usually broke). My mother was lonely, though she wouldn't admit it. My mother was overwhelmed. Did I want to face the same struggles when it was my turn to be a mom? No way.

Well, you know what they say about the best-laid plans.

At least I was prepared. As a divorced mother-of-two, the territory I travel day-to-day feels largely familiar; had I been raised in a two-parent household, I think single motherhood might have been more of a shock to my system. I've been here before, just on the other side.

So I'm never surprised by the questions people ask or comments they make when they find out I'm divorced. I've heard it all before.

Here's the thing about parenting. Some of the things we do because we love our kids so darn much is the very stuff that makes the ungrateful little twerps hate us. And this is where two groups of parents diverge in the wood, so to speak. Most of us just grin and bear the teenagers' angsty attitudes. And there's Tommy Jordan, dad of 15-year-old Hannah, who took the road less traveled.

The North Carolina father printed out his daughter's 'tude-filled diatribe about how much she hates her parents from her Facebook page and decided to make a YouTube video to set her straight. He read her entire rant about how unfair her life is (sooooob) and explained one by one, why her parents' expectations that she pitch in around the house are part of being a member of the family. And then things got really interesting.

A mother in North Carolina is probably going to go to jail for making the decision to not honor the custody agreement between her and her former spouse. At first glance, it seems insane, right? A mother should WANT her children to have a relationship with their father, correct? In this case, however, the mom is actually correct.

The children, 4 and 7, have an alleged drug dealer for a father. David Edward Kennedy was fired from his job with the city of Charlotte, NC when he failed a drug test, and in November, he was indicted on federal cocaine trafficking charges. Does that sound like the kind of person you would want around your kids? It seems no. And yet a judge has ordered their mother to honor their joint custody agreement or she will get jail time.

The fact is, this dad has reportedly confessed to dealing drugs and the mother says she does not feel safe sending her kids to him. So now the court overrules mother’s instinct? How fair is that?

When a 15-year-old girl showed up at the New Jersey Assembly Judiciary hearings last week, one myth about same sex marriage was shot right out of the water. People across the country still think the battle is just about the rights for gay and lesbians to marry. But for 15-year-old Madison Galluccio, it's much more than that.

It's a way to give her family -- including her dads Jon and Michael -- the same footing as the families of all her school friends. As long as the Garden State refuses to let gays marry, their kids are being discriminated against by the state right along with their two moms or two dads. As this child told members of a government that's supposed to work for her, "This is my family, and I want us to be able to have the same rights as you."

It's not often that celebrity moms come off as relatable to the masses. And yet, if you listened to Angelina Jolie spilling secrets about her life as a parent this week, she was saying something that gave me pause. Brad Pitt's other half says their kids have "saved" her from a "self-destructive" phase in life and turned around her spirit.

I understood her completely. My 6-year-old daughter has saved my spirit and then some. And now that she's old enough to call me on the carpet when I do something questionable, the mama-revamping just keeps coming.

Normally this column is all about my terrible advice to you on child-rearing. Most people enjoy it or just avoid it but some of you seem intent on calling me out as being a terrible parent in spite of the fact that this column is called "Ill-Advised" for a reason. In fact, I recently got an email implying that I didn't even have a child. Which is ridiculous. I have a 7-year-old named Hailey that I stole so I could write this column in good faith. BECAUSE ETHICS ARE IMPORTANT TO ME.

Also, I stole her from heroin addicts so stop judging me. It took six months just to get her off the horse and she still complains that she has bugs under her skin.  

In short, I am like some kind of a goddamn saint. But in case you still think I'm lying, I have decided to share an hour in the life of my daughter with you.

YOU ARE WELCOME AMERICA. And Canada. And ... whoever else is here.

Let's begin:

I don't think I've ever seen video footage of a military mom or dad's surprise homecoming that wasn't completely adorable and totally heartwarming. But this little girl's reunion with her Army sergeant dad -- on her 6th birthday -- is quite possibly the sweetest moment ever caught on film. Even the hosts of the Today Show were visibly moved. Matt Lauer, people. Matt Lauer was moved.

Something about the way Bailey Page of Utah and her dad Adam are looking at each other, maybe.

Or the way Bailey says in her cute little voice, "That's my only birthday present I wanted, is you. I really missed you."

"How did you ever make it?"