The news has been particularly terrifying for parents of school-age kids lately with case after case of sexual abuse being reported. Recently in Los Angeles a teacher was accused of the most unimaginable sex abuse crimes against children in the classroom; and this week a teacher's aide in New York was arrested for making child pornography on school grounds. I could go on and on, but it's too heartbreaking. What I really want to know is how do we protect our children from evil monsters like this out there in the world? Can we?

I've said before that it's stories like these that will prevent me from ever being a free-range parent. Philosophically I want to let go, but emotionally I can't. Of course, we can't wrap our kids up and bubble wrap, and for most of us, we have no choice but to send them into the schools. But do we really have to just wait and take our chances that they may be a victim? Are there ways we can help minimize their odds without smothering them with our efforts?

A mother in North Carolina is probably going to go to jail for making the decision to not honor the custody agreement between her and her former spouse. At first glance, it seems insane, right? A mother should WANT her children to have a relationship with their father, correct? In this case, however, the mom is actually correct.

The children, 4 and 7, have an alleged drug dealer for a father. David Edward Kennedy was fired from his job with the city of Charlotte, NC when he failed a drug test, and in November, he was indicted on federal cocaine trafficking charges. Does that sound like the kind of person you would want around your kids? It seems no. And yet a judge has ordered their mother to honor their joint custody agreement or she will get jail time.

The fact is, this dad has reportedly confessed to dealing drugs and the mother says she does not feel safe sending her kids to him. So now the court overrules mother’s instinct? How fair is that?

Ah, the spelling bee. I have such fond memories of getting super competitive over the spelling of "dinosaur," "bureau," and "cousin" among other words. Those bees were some of the better moments of my school career. They were just FUN.

Oddly enough, watching them is really fun, too. Even now when I am a grown-up, I love to see kids spell words. The tension is high, the sense of competition is thick, and the whole thing is just a blast. One of the better YouTube videos of all time has captured all that tension.

A boy of about 12 is asked to spell the word "Heron." It's a simple word, but his tortured questioning of the presenter is both hilarious and kind of disturbing. See for yourself:

I bet whoever came up with "Crazy Hat Day" thought it sounded like fun. Oh, what fun! Like a harmless way to spice up the same-old school calendar: Hmmm, it's the middle of the winter and the holidays are over and kids are bored ... let's plan something fun! Like a day where kids get to do something really wild, something against the rules ... something like wearing a crazy hat!! In school! All day! Now that's what I call fun!

Except Crazy Hat Day is not, in fact, all that much fun. Neither is Pajama Day or Wear-Your-Clothes-Inside-Out Day or Silly Sock Day. No, not much fun at all.

I learned this lesson a long time ago, but I forgot about it until the other day, which just happened to be the annual Crazy Hat Day at my kids' school.

I remembered the no-fun thing at precisely 7:24 a.m.. That's when I heard myself yelling, "What do you mean the court jester hat with the jingle bells isn't crazy? Of course it's crazy!!"

As President Obama acknowledged in his State of the Union address Tuesday night, the American people tend to regard much of what goes on in Washington, DC, with a skeptical eye. But there was a moment during Obama's looong (is it over yet?) speech that, as the parent of two kids attending public elementary school, I found myself wanting to stand up and cheer. Actually, come to think of it, there were a few of them.

Here are five things the President said about education that parents of kids of all ages -- K through college -- can celebrate. (If Washington lawmakers can manage to work out a deal to make them happen, that is -- which is, of course, a big if.)

In a ridiculously overzealous and inappropriate move, a teacher in New York has started seriously limiting her students' bathroom access. And by seriously limit, I mean they only are allowed three bathroom passes a WEEK. Three!

According to the New York Post, students in Ms. Stephanie Warner's fifth grade class at P.S. 90 in Brooklyn say they are given three strips of paper that say, “This coupon entitles [student name] to bathroom.” If they are lost or otherwise destroyed, then they are, well ... sh*t out of luck. And when they do get to go, they only get three minutes to do so.

Not only that, they're encouraged to use as few of those strips as possible, and are awarded prizes the less they go. Can you hear urologists across the country shrieking about the damage holding it can do? If not, that's only because the cries of parental outrage may be louder.

Yuck, barf!Yesterday, on the way home from school, I had a rather disturbing conversation with my 6-year-old son, Julian. This is how it went.

Julian: Today, in my class, this kid barfed like five times.

Me: Oh. Oh ... boy. Well, that's too bad. So, um, you wash your hands before you eat at school, right?

Julian: Yeah, the nurse always tells me to wash my hands.

Me: That's good. Wait, the nurse? Why did you see the nurse? Did you feel sick too?

Julian: No, it's because I'm the person in my class who walks somebody to the nurse when they barf or have a headache and we're supposed to hold hands, so then after we get there, the nurse says to me, "I think you better wash your hands now!"

Me: Oh. Oh ... boy.

That's what I said out loud, anyway. In my head I was screaming, "Hey! How come my kid got stuck with this gig? Why does my son have to be the Official First Grade Barfing-Kid Escort?!"

Sexual education in the school has long been in need of a revamp, and this week, a coalition of health and education groups issued non-binding recommendations to states and school districts regarding sex ed in the school. One of the most striking elements of the recommendations is the definition of sexual orientation, something that will likely anger thousands of parents who don't want their kids learning about same sex relationships.

The new sex ed recommendations come into play by the end of fifth grade and would define sexual orientation as "the romantic attraction of an individual to someone of the same gender or a different gender." Amen. That is exactly what it is and children should be learning about in school, especially those whose parents display bias and prejudice at home.