POSTS WITH TAG: discipline

Toddler Stats

Spanking Study Is Shocking to People Who Live in Caves

Posted by Adriana Velez
on Feb 13, 2012 at 3:22 PM

spanking dollFor my husband and me, not spanking our child has been mostly a gut decision. It just feels like the right choice for us. We haven't been compiling research that proves spanking is bad for kids, although there seems to be a lot of that research out there lately.

The latest study shows a link between spanking and aggressive behavior in spanked children. It's not a make-or-break study for me, but it does make me feel more confident in my choice. And it also doesn't surprise me at all.

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Teen Mom Moment

Moms of Tweens Need to Be Showered With Diamonds and Flowers (Just Because)

Posted by Janelle Harris
on Feb 13, 2012 at 9:08 AM

Tween, momThis blog post has gone through multiple transitions. Initially, I set out to write about how I noticed that my relationship with Teen Child has subtly changed. Just last year, I was ready to kick that girl's butt up one side of heaven and down the hot beds of hell. Her report cards were terrible and I was talking to her teachers so often, we just started texting to save time.

In the eighth grade, though, things have mellowed out a little. And I was just about to celebrate it. I had started writing about it and everything. Then we hit a setback last Monday. All because of a stupid, blockheaded boy who, to be quite honest, she isn’t supposed to be talking to anyway. Now I’m back to wading waist-deep through the fiery pit of tween angst, and that well-deserved respite is a memory. Most moms talk about surviving the Terrible Twos. I’ll be glad to get my stripes and say I've managed to make it through the Tumultuous Tweens. 

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Toddler Say What!?

Poor Kids Don't Deserve Spankings Any More Than Rich Kids Do

Posted by Adriana Velez
on Feb 2, 2012 at 7:29 PM

paddleShould rich parents "discipline" their kids differently than poor parents? A British MP seems to think so. Last summer the country was rocked with riots. Youths lit fires and looted in cities around Britain. Senior Labor MP and former education minister David Lammy thinks it was at least partly the result of the 2004 law forbidding spanking that "reddens the skin."

He said on a radio show, "Many of my constituents came up to me after the riots and blamed the Labour government, saying: 'You guys stopped us being able to smack our children'." Riiiiiggghhht, those parents just haven't been spanking their kids enough in the past 7 years. But it gets worse.

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Big Kid

4 Times It’s Perfectly OK to Judge Other Parents

Posted by Janelle Harris
on Jan 30, 2012 at 8:23 PM

Parents, judgmentSome people feel better when passing judgment about someone else’s parenting by prefacing their comments with little disclaimers like “it’s not the decision I’d make for my kids” and other euphemisms to assure whoever they’re talking to that they’re not looking down the long nose of snootiness. Not me.

We have different ways of bringing our youngins up, and surely I don’t have even a quarter of the answers. Heck, I needed a cheat sheet for the ones I have come up with. That doesn’t mean I don’t formulate my opinions on good parenting versus bad parenting by some of the things I see other moms and dads do.

We all make mistakes — even, alas, with our precious offspring. But there are just some circumstances that are so cut and dry that it’s impossible for me to give parents a break or craft a mental excuse on their behalf. Not that they’re asking for one. But in these cases, they probably should:

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Big Kid

Wise Tot Explains Why Spanking Doesn't Work (VIDEO)

Posted by Jeanne Sager
on Jan 30, 2012 at 2:09 PM

HughMost parents dread their kid going through a hitting phase. It has the potential to make them persona non grata in the playgroup and push their number to the top of the teacher's speed dial. That day came in our house, and I realized I had at least something to be thankful for. We had never used spanking as a form of discipline in our house.

Oh, I've heard my counterparts who practice corporal punishment tell me it doesn't matter. You're the parent, you are therefore allowed to tell your kids to do as I say, not as I do. So far they haven't believed me, the adult, that it makes absolutely no sense to tell a kid not to hit when you hit them.

But have I got an answer for them! His name is Hugh, and he's just a little boy. A little boy who happens to have spilled some truths about disciplining children from the eyes of a child ... right on YouTube. Take a look:

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Teen

Bizarre Dress Code Won't Make Students Respect Teachers

Posted by Jeanne Sager
on Jan 27, 2012 at 10:52 AM

bootsThere are some who would call Uggs a crime against fashion. Some would call them the comfiest thing since Crocs (see preceding sentence vis a vis crimes). And in one Pennsylvania school, they -- and all other open-topped knock-offs -- are now a crime worthy of punishment for students who dare wear them into the classroom.

Before you go all "OMG, I love my Uggs" on this ugly ban, the school administrators say this isn't about the boots themselves but about what kids are shoving in them -- namely cellphones, which are contraband at Pottstown, just as they are in 99.9 percent of schools in the country. Yes, America, this is why your teen has no respect for his elders. Because instead of coming right out and telling them what they're doing wrong, school administrators try to trick them.

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Toddler

Having an Obedient Child Doesn't Make You a Good Parent

Posted by Adriana Velez
on Jan 24, 2012 at 3:10 PM

toddlerToddlerhood, the age that defines the parenting warriors from the flakes, the battle-axes from the push-overs. If babyhood is all about mere survival, the toddler years are when you decide what kind of a parent you're going to be. Even if you don't pick a specific parenting philosophy -- say, tall half-disciplinarian half-attachment-parenting with soy whipped cream -- you're still being forced to make decisions about how you will teach your kid to be a decent human being.

For a lot of parents -- and parenting experts -- raising a decent human being looks a lot like raising an obedient person. BUT -- we also want our kids to be compassionate and independent thinkers. An article in The Guardian asks, Since when did obedience become the epitome of good parenting? I think that's an idea worth picking apart.

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Big Kid

It's Your Fault Your Kid's a Brat (VIDEO)

Posted by Jeanne Sager
on Jan 24, 2012 at 11:32 AM

JoAnn from BensonhurstDo you know the difference between a cursing toddler and a cursing elementary school kid? I'll give you a hint. The answer's more about how you react to them than anything the kid is actually doing.

If I had a dime for every kid whose parents let them get away with insanely stupid behavior as a toddler because it was "just so cute," I'd probably be able to put the elementary school aged brats those cute toddlers become into a private school. But I'm one of those moms who is just too wussy to ever tell her friends that they're parenting wrong (at least not to their faces!!). So I'm relieved that CafeMom Studios has found JoAnn From Bensonhurst to do it for me!

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Big Kid

15 Completely Rational Facts I Wish I Could Convince My Kid Were True

Posted by Jeanne Sager
on Jan 14, 2012 at 10:30 AM

Refusing to listen
Refusing to listen -- as usual.
Remember when your kids were babies, and they cried for what seemed like no reason? And you sat there thinking: oh, I just can't wait until this child can make up her own mind and tell me what she's thinking? Oh, those were the halcyon days, my friends. Before your child learned to talk to you.

And more importantly, before your child decided you had absolutely no idea what you were talking about. Blessed with a stubborn little spitfire (that's loving Mom talk, and I refuse to translate under grounds that I would incriminate myself), I look back on the days when my daughter could not talk and wonder . . . if I'd done it a different way, could I actually convince her of all the completely rational facts that she dismisses on a daily basis? Here, you be the judge. Tell me if you think the kiddos will ever be convinced of these common sense facts:

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Big Kid

9 Types of Moms We All Want to Avoid

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham
on Jan 6, 2012 at 4:00 PM

Parenting is not an easy job and everyone seems to have a different idea of how it needs to be done. For many moms and dads, it becomes almost impossible to have friendships with other parents because the way they parent is so different than the way you parent.

My husband and I are strict on some things -- saying please and thank you, not whining, listening to what we say -- and chill about others -- meal times, foods they eat, and playtime. This means that families who are strict about food might not like us and families who allow their children to whine or use adult words might not be liked by us. It can be hard to find people who jive.

We also hear all kinds of parenting "terms." There are "attachment parents" and "tough love" parents and everyone in between. But here are the 9 Mom Types I see most often:

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