You know that saying "time marches on"? Well I wish it would stop. Now. I have just been informed that cyber-bullying, that scourge of the Internet, has stretched into the kindergarten set.

Kids as young as 6 years old are being bullied online. Six! My kid is 6, and she can't even tie her shoes yet (I know, I know, we are working on it). And now I have to worry about somebody stealing her self-esteem?

Now I know what you're thinking.

It's opening night of The Avengers nationwide, and you can bet the teenagers will be lining up outside theaters ready for their fix of the hot new superhero flick. And the younger kids want to be right there with them. The last Halloween in most neighborhoods brought us a sea of little Iron Mans and wee Captain America look-alikes running around town. These are their heroes too.

But is The Avengers really a kids movie? That depends ... on your kid. You know them better than anyone. But we're throwing you a lifeline. We've seen the movie (and loved it), and we know what to watch out for with your kids. Here's a guide to help you decide if you'll be hitting the theaters or staying home this weekend:

Even though Girl Child is 13 and, in some parents’ purview, too old for my iron-fisted censorship, I still keep an ear out for the stuff she’s listening to. There is just something blood-curdling about hearing your barely teenage daughter prancing around the house obliviously belting out the lyrics to Rihanna’s “Rude Boy”: “Come here, rude boy, boy; can you get it up?/Come here rude boy, boy; is you big enough?” No ma’am, no sir. Not on my watch.

Still, even with being on my toes for subliminal messages and overt sexuality, one occasionally slips past me, like The Wanted’s “Glad You Came,” which I would never have suspected is really about… orgasms?! At least that’s what one member of the band has strongly suggested. And I’ve been letting my daughter sing along whenever it comes on the radio which, if you listen to any given pop station, is like 30-50 times a day, no lie.

Living in the White House has to be the coolest childhood ever, right? You've got the Secret Service at your beck and call, and if you are Sasha and Malia Obama, your dad is the PRESIDENT of the United States! But don't let the title deceive you. Barack and Michelle Obama are still parents first.

And that means laying down rules for their kids that might surprise you. If you think the kids in the White House have access to all the TV and computers they want, you have another thing coming. As Mrs. O. told The Stir's own Tracy Odell (who got to take her adorable son to the White House for take your child to work day ... seriously, you have to check out his grin!), they run a tight ship when it comes to technology.

As the mother of two little girls, I do my best to shield and protect them from the evil that exists in the world. At the same time, I’m slowly trying to teach them life skills that will help them navigate the world as strong, powerful, beautiful-on-the-inside-and-the-outside ladies.

That does not include putting them on HBO to suck on plastic penis-shaped cups in a failed attempt at humor. I’m not sure what kind of mother does that to her little girl, but it’s one that needs to sit down and reexamine her priorities. 

Brooke Harris is out of a job as a Michigan teacher. But she’s not exactly sure why. All she knows is that her dismissal stems from encouraging her middle school students to raise money for the family of slain teenager Trayvon Martin. Lots of organizations are rallying not only for the arrest and prosecution of George Zimmerman, but to fundraise and defray the legal expenses Martin’s parents have accumulated just trying to bring their son’s alleged murderer to justice.

This is where good teaching came back to bite her in the hindparts: Harris initially gave her journalism students at Pontiac Academy for Excellence an editorial-writing assignment on the shooting. But the kids felt led to do more, and Harris says she asked the school's administrators if the eighth graders could pay $1 for a dress-down day, a popular fundraising tactic at schools that require uniforms.

I bet you've never seen Little Red Riding Hood like this before. In the five-minute reinterpretation of the classic tale, creators Jorge Jaramillo and Carlo Guillot turn Red Riding Hood into a brutal and ruthless wolf killer who knows how to wield a knife. It's a dark and gory animation that you'll definitely want to check out ... that is, if you're an adult. If a poor kid happens to stumble upon this thinking they've just located their favorite fairy tale? Well, then, I hope you don't like sleeping alone -- your kids are going to storm trooper your bed so fast it will make your head spin. Nightmares for the young ones are a guarantee.

Someone isn't playing nice at PS 42 on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, and it's not the kids. It seems that parents are royally peeved after the Dino Eli Gallery across the street from the elementary school put up nude photos of a woman as part of an art installation right smack in the front window that faces the school.

It lines up like this: Parents think it's obscene, Dino Eli (the gallery owner) thinks it's art. The two sides are at an impasse, as Eli says they just can't see eye to eye. 

As someone who holds an art history degree and drives by XXX billboards while taking my kids to school in Hollywood, I've got a dog in this race. Eli, you're behaving worse than a second grader here, and you need to get off your pompous art horse.