Dating Older Women -- Life With 3 Teens

on January 7, 2010 at 1:40 PM

Photo by RAZmom88

It's hard enough raising one teen -- but three?! Welcome to RAZmom88's wild and wonderful life. Each Thursday she shares the week's drama or joy.

My Marijuana Reaction

My three teens, 18, 18 and 15, chose to spend New Year's Eve at our church's all-nighter. My older son and daughter had a choice of the church, to stay home, or go to a concert. Zack, who I learned had recently smoked pot while visiting his older brother at college, only had the choice of church or home.

I simply expressed my fear of them being on the highway that far from home on the busiest party night of the year. They all slept most of New Year's Day, then when they got up they ran out and bought snacks and watched football.

The high schoolers are back at class, but the college kids don't head back till the weekend. I am very excited to for them to go. I want my house back and our family schedule back in place. I am just very tired.

Now, in regard to your responses last week to my son smoking pot ...

I am very proud of my sons and the relationship I have with them. I feel that because I am very laid back and they know I love them unconditionally they feel they can talk openly with me. But when I do lay down the law, they know I am serious and I am doing so because I want them to be the best men they can be ... and I want them safe.

Ryan and Zack will always be able to hang out with each other. They have spent the last two weeks going to movies, the mall and restaurants. Right now they are at a high school basketball game. It's just that right now I don't think they are ready to spend the night on campus together. They both seem to have a problem with peer pressure, which is common with teenagers. Ryan is a show-off; Zack doesn't like being the baby.

We have never had an issue of the teens drinking at the church, but have had issues with them while hanging out with some of the teens in the youth group. I do not think that they are going to be perfect because of the church. They still have choice.

My Son and the Older Woman

Recently, a young lady from the youth group came to our home to see Zack. She seemed very nice. A group of the kids from the youth group were hanging out at one of the families' homes, playing pool and hot tubing. I knew Zack really liked her. What 15 year old boy wouldn't? I found out a few days later that this young lady was 19 and had graduated from high school last year ... so Zack had kissed a woman.

His father had explained to him that he could not hang out with her, that the age difference was too great. She's an adult, he's not. Zack understood, and now he has a girlfriend his own age. We haven't met her yet, but I am attempting to get Zack to invite her for dinner this week.

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How would you react if your 15 year old announced he was dating a 19 year old?

Previous journals:

My Son Smoked Pot

Laptops and Lung Cancer

Too Young for Love?

Abusive Homes, Faith

Shopping and Sleeping Arrangements

About the author Cynthia Dermody

is The Stir's Managing Editor who has trophies in her home for her skills at the Irish Jig. She makes cupcakes with as many fattening ingredients as possible, doesn't comb her hair for months at a time, and was probably a faerie in a former life.

Filed Under: drugs & alcohol, life with 3 teens, sex & dating

Comments (3)

Solera

on Jan 8, 2010 at 1:13 PM

I think, that my reaction would be the same as yours and your husbands honestly. I would set him straight about the fact that a 15 yr old and 19 yr old can't date because of the legal ramifications and if he accepted that and moved on and found a nice young girl his own age, like your son did then I would be fine with it. If not, then the legal ramifications would ensue, and he would find out exactly what happens when things like this happen.

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SteeleMommasita

on Jan 9, 2010 at 1:45 AM

We would have highly discouraged it too. I know my 15 yr old would love to date an older girl but there is laws in place against that for a reason. There is a lot of maturity that happens between those ages. My daughter dated an 18 yr old when she was 15 and we didn't handle that well either. She was never allowed to leave the house with him. All dates were at our house in our fully lighted living room with us and three other siblings running around. My husband told him the laws and that he was fully prepared to enforce them. There was never any issues and after about 2 months they split and went on their merry separate ways.