Dealing with Mean Girls

on November 4, 2008 at 6:59 PM

Just the topic of mean girls makes most moms of daughters cringe. Some of us were mean girls ourselves, others were victims, but all of us know that mean girls can have a huge impact on the life of a tween or teen. CM mom mammabowen is dealing with this right now with her tenderhearted 9-year-old who is being bossed and bullied by a not-so-nice crew.

stayhomemom22, a mom of 6(!) girls (and a former victim of mean girls herself) has some simple but sage advice. "I basically sat my daughter/s down and told them this..There are going to be mean people to you and what you have to do is...when someone is mean to you..DONT RESPOND to them, act like what they said to you is nothing, don't show emotion because that tells the other kids that it hurts your feelings and they will keep on being mean to her. If she just walks away or doesn't respond then these girls just stop doing it...it's no fun for them anymore," she says.

An earlier Big Kids Buzz post on bullies underscores this same idea. In essence, kids who are bullied need to remember that they actually have the power. In that same article there is also a great link to expert, kid-friendly advice on the topic. Good luck moms who are dealing with this tough situation, the good news is that this is usally just a short-lived phase. And please, feel free to share any advice or suggestions for dealing with mean girls here.

Filed Under: bullies

Comments (2)

kelsie1967

on Nov 6, 2008 at 11:27 AM

ok, we all have told our kids about bullies and the best way to deal with them. but what happens when your 18 yr old SD is the mean girl. She lives at bio-mom's with 16 yr lil sis--we have fairly liberal vis. Example---16 yr old on phone with dad the other night, big sis wants the phone, threatens lil sis with spilling her secrets and then punches her. Mom does nothing and has no clue what to do with either girl. Dad got mad and chewed out big sis, but this has been a pattern of behavior for years. Lil sis used to fight back, but now she doesn't. Any suggestions? 'Cuz right now dad is going to tell big sis that next time lil sis will call police and file domestic charges against her........

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snowmom974

on Mar 25, 2009 at 11:53 AM

ok i agree with the article not to say anything but its going to come out.my daughters friend is being bullied on the bus but in return the friend is bullying my daughter.so she gets upset and cries.doesnt want to go on the bus. i think there comes a time where you have to tell the child to stick up for herself.not violently.my daughter still wont though.so i guess we are going through our own issues,to kelsie i am thinking your sd needs a taste of her own medicine.and eventually she will someone will come along and beat the crap out of her.cause there is always someone bigger and meaner.ya my daughters friend next store told her to keep a secret my daughter said she would but to make sure she also slapped her in the face twice to make sure she didnt spread the secret..nature or nurture????her mother did not respond and di not believe methough the daughter said yes she did it?????