Working Moms Are Losing Custody

on November 18, 2009 at 1:43 PM

Oh, great. It's not enough that this working mom already feels guilty about not spending enough time with my kids. Now here's another bit of info I'm going to stash away and hopefully never use ...

Being a working mom is not looked on too favorably by the courts during custody battles. No one likes to think about divorce and I don't wish it on any of us. But according to a report in Working Mother magazine, more fathers, stay-at-home dads particularly, are fighting for primary custody of their children -- and winning.

Used to be that the child always went to the mother. But it's no longer uncommon for fathers seeking sole custody in a contested case to prevail at least 50 percent of the time, according to WM.

And over the past decade, the number of fathers awarded custody of their children has doubled, according to the latest data. Today, one in every four wives earns more than her husband, compared to one in five 20 years ago.

Some would argue this is only fair. The playing field is leveled. Gone is the "tender years doctrine" that said caring for children under 7 is best done by the mother.

Visit Working Mother for the full article on working moms losing custody battles.

What is your view -- should the mom still get preference for custody regardless if she works or not or do you believe the courts are acting fairly?

Related posts:

Working Moms and the Childless Boss

Working Moms Can Stop Feeling Guilty About

About the author Cynthia Dermody

is The Stir's Managing Editor who has trophies in her home for her skills at the Irish Jig. She makes cupcakes with as many fattening ingredients as possible, doesn't comb her hair for months at a time, and was probably a faerie in a former life.

Filed Under: child care, in the news

Comments (15)

Bluebonnet72

on Nov 18, 2009 at 2:15 PM

If Dad has been the primary caregiver, it makes sense that Dad is going to get custody. It is best to change the child's life asl ittle as possible.

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mommyheymommy

on Nov 18, 2009 at 2:21 PM

I agree with the pp

PinkSodaPop

on Nov 18, 2009 at 3:34 PM

Quantity, isn't as important as quality.

So whomever is giving the best quality time with the child should be the main care giver.... whether working or not matters nothing in the real scheme of things in my opinion... It's the quality of time that matters, not the 'quantity'.

Lanasmom

on Nov 18, 2009 at 3:49 PM

To a child quantity time IS quality time.. So if the dad is primary caregiver, then yes he should get custody.

RanaAurora

on Nov 18, 2009 at 3:53 PM

I think it sounds MORE like dads are finally getting equal treatment!

science_spot

on Nov 18, 2009 at 4:12 PM

I agree with Rana - it is time that dads got equal treatment in the courts. Why should the primary caregiver be discriminated against because he is male?

Woman want to have equal rights in the workplace, it is only fair men get equal rights in the home.

AudlyLuvly

on Nov 18, 2009 at 4:44 PM

I think that it should be taken into consideration. I hate my situation right now, my husband kidnapped (legally) our daughter, took her to alaska, and won't let me talk to her. I've tried several times, he has also told me that he'll take her to the baby-sitters when he isn't working.. or like the other night, i called (at a time he said i should, so that i could talk to her) and he was at borders (bookstore) and she was at the baby-sitter's... wtf? I am a SAHM to my oldest right now, was a SAHM mom with her until he took her. I think that she would be WAY better off with me.. now if only i could get it into the courts...

and yes, i agree that if dad was being a SAHD then he should get primary custody of the child. He was her primary caregiver before, so why should that change now?

toriandgrace

on Nov 19, 2009 at 12:36 AM

I definitely think it should depend on the individual situation. My best friend's dad is divorcing her step mom right now and there is an 8 year old in the mix. Well mom picked up and left, now gets her daughter one maybe two weekends a month and expects dad to pay child support. So her dad is finally filing for full custody. And it's great. It will ensure the child remains settled with the dad, where her school, friends, grandparents, step-siblings are all at.

debraann380

on Nov 19, 2009 at 1:17 AM

What if he had a criminal background or his SO had a criminal record? i know i wouldnt let him have them if that happen i would let his family or my family raise my children if I was unable to raise them