Elementary School Attendance Policies Too Strict?

on November 13, 2009 at 7:33 AM

The other day we kept my son home from school because he was sick. My husband took the day off to be with him, but typical us, neither of us thought to call the school to let them know. We had a foggy notion of some policy about that, but all we thought about in the morning was, "Well, our kid is sick, so he's not going in."

I get a call from the school nurse about 10:30, both alarmed and perturbed that we hadn't called him in.

I can't blame her. While she was thrilled that I was actually keeping him and his germs at home, she also needed to make sure my son was where he was supposed to be and didn't end up in the trunk of some pedophile's car on his way to school. I appreciate that.

But some of the Stay at Home Moms were talking about overly strict elementary school attendance policies the other day. It seems some schools are way more rigid than mine is, with rules not just about calling in to the nurse, but demanding doctors notes for all absences and scolding parents who make the decision to keep their kids home for non-medical reasons.

One mom recalled how her own mother used to deal with these issues:

"I was sick a lot in middle school and high school, and my mother would take me out a lot for doctor appointments. I remember the school questioning her and telling her I needed a doctor's note for all my absences. She told them what she thought of that: She said she was my mother and if she wanted to take me out of school for a day it was none of their business. If she wanted to take me shopping she would. They day they paid my doctor bills and supported me was the day she answered to them."

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About the author Cynthia Dermody

is The Stir's Managing Editor who has trophies in her home for her skills at the Irish Jig. She makes cupcakes with as many fattening ingredients as possible, doesn't comb her hair for months at a time, and was probably a faerie in a former life.

Filed Under: elementary school, health

Comments (11)

justanotherjen

on Nov 13, 2009 at 8:13 AM

We're supposed to call in to tell them when our kids are out sick. It's an automated system and you can call the night before, just leave the kids' name and room number. I always forget, though, because I have 4 kids and, if by chance, one of them is sick the others still need to get to school and it's pretty chaotic in the morning.

They usually call around 10 to check.

In high school they took roll before every class period and if you weren't there in your seat they were calling your parents within 10 minutes. There was no skipping class. If you missed a period you got an automatic after school detention (basically for every class you missed). I never knew a single kid that skipped class in high school.

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babyboomboom

on Nov 13, 2009 at 9:26 AM

I remember my mom saying something along that lines also when I was in school.

It's ridiculous what my brother and sisters school want. We went to Disney last year and the school said they can't release my brother unless he was leaving school for an educational purpose or if he was sick. If he was sick he needed a doctors note. My brothers mom basically told them they can't hold her son hostage because they knew we were taking him out of school for 1 week to go to Disney. She is the mom, not them and when they decide to support her kid they can decide when he goes to school.

I pulled my sister out of class a few weeks ago because I was visiting and she hadn't seen me in a while and the school gave me a big fuss about how she needs her education. I told them if they didn't release my sister we could call the cops down and see what they thought.

mommyheymommy

on Nov 13, 2009 at 10:16 AM

Just right - we home school

SahmTam

on Nov 13, 2009 at 12:37 PM

Our school is just right.

We take our kids out for about 10 days each fall to observe Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah and Sukkot and the school has never had a problem with it. I do get it pre-approved by the superintendent ahead of time and make it known that I will be responsible for helping them get their "away" work done and tests/quizzes made up on time afterward as per the school policy. We've never caught any flack for it.

My oldest has never missed for being sick until this year (he's in 3rd grade). We had him out early in the school year for the days I mentioned above. We'd no sooner gotten back when my grandma died and we traveled for the funeral. My daughter's in kindergarten and only has morning school so she didn't miss anything that day, but we had to take my son out early. The next week he missed 2 days for his first illness-related absence. I called in those mornings and sent excuse notes and as far as I know the school was ok with it- at least I haven't heard otherwise, so I assume it's all good LOL ;-)

Bluebonnet72

on Nov 13, 2009 at 1:21 PM

The doctor's note rule drives me crazy. Every time my kid is sick they do not need to go to the doctor. I have 2 special needs kids. We spend lots of time at doctor's offices. We don't need to add to that by going for stomach bugs just to get a doctor's note.

Families get really stuck sometimes because if you don't go to the doctor then the absence is unexcused. Too many unexcused absences and you wind up in court. So when you have illness prone children, you either take kids to the doctor just to get the note, or you send sick kids to school and wait for the school to call you to come pick them up.

Freela

on Nov 13, 2009 at 9:07 PM

Our school is too lenient... a couple of times I have forgotten to call my child in sick (three barfing kids can drive those thoughts out of your head! LOL!) And no one, ever, called to see where he was! Really it was fine because he was with me... but what if he just somehow never got from his bus to the classroom? It would have taken a full day to figure out he was missing- a really good head start for a psycho abducting a child!

KTMOM

on Nov 14, 2009 at 11:24 AM

Our school is reasonable, I think. They don't require us to call children in, but do like it if we send a note when kids return. If they miss more than a certain amount of days (10?) the school does like to get a doctor's note for their records. My son had to miss seven days last year due to a virus and since I had taken him to the dr anyway, I had them write a note just because.

momof3inTN

on Nov 16, 2009 at 9:36 PM

Our school is very reasonable.... we homeschool. LOL No attendance policy. But I did here one that I thought was absolutely absurd though, a child only gets 3 days of bereavement leave if his mom or dad dies. How harsh is that? So if one of the child's parents dies on Monday, the child has to be back in class on Thursday? I don't think so.

toriandgrace

on Nov 17, 2009 at 2:52 AM

My daughter goes to a developmental preschool. I am supposed to call her teacher, transportation, and the main office. Up until a week ago, I never thought about calling the main office. Then I subbed in the office at one of the elementary schools. First, parents who think of it call in. They do not require any doctors notes and there are codes to mark absences: ill, excused, unexcused, unverified, and family business. So I got to change all of the unverifieds into ills/ fabs as we got calls from parents. Then at about 10, the automated calls went out. If parents answered, I got to change the unv. to excused, then if parents called in to say ill or family business, I got to code it again. THEN, if parents didn't pick up the automated phone call, I got to call them. After all that was done, I got to call parents for absences that had been unverified for more than 2 weeks that have now turned into unexcused. After those fun calls and recoding, I filled out forms to be sent home for all the kids with unexcused absences, in an attempt to get parents to call in or write a note excusing absences.

Needless to say, I now call the office any time my daughter is absent. lol

2girlsMom.MN

on Nov 17, 2009 at 3:48 AM

Our school dist. sucks. My daughter has missed like 5 days total for the year and I've gotten threatening letters saying they will turn us into Child Protection if it keeps happening. I've known parents to have CPS knocking on their door too. Excuse me for keeping my child home when she's sick. The stomach flu alone can keep a kid out 3 days. All it takes is to be sick once or twice and your absent days are up. Not every stomach bug needs to be checked over by a doctor either.

Now the govt. allocates so much money per student, that is present in school and it's a daily thing. So if your child is absent they miss out on money. So it all boils down to a money thing.