Yesterday I reported that most bullying surprisingly takes place in the classroom, lunchroom, and other supervised locations of the school.
A lot of us wonder why teachers and administrators just don't make it stop. So I asked CafeMom beanielips, a public high school teacher, who explains that it's not always as easy as it sounds.
I am not surprised at that result. There is a lot of bullying that happens in supervised locations at some schools. Some are worse than others. It is also important to know that what used to be thought of as "kids will be kids" is now classified as bullying. I am sure that it was just as bad when we were growing up, but it was not tolerated because it was not acceptable in the culture of the school.
What do you do personally to stop bullying?
While I do my best to diffuse the situations, I can only be in so many places at once. There are also times that when we try to stop the bullying, it only makes things worse once the victim is out of our sight. I am a fairly proactive teacher, but I know that there are teachers that look the other way. They each have their reasons, but I don't understand them.
Why not just punish the bully or complain to the kid's parents?
Schools do contact parents in an effort to stop the bullying. Without support from home, it is nearly impossible to set up enforceable rules. Many times the parent of the bully does not believe it is happening or thinks the kid that is being bullied is over-reacting.
Honestly, if parents would work with the schools and not against them, it would make it much easier. What happens is a culture is created when two or three kids "get away" with it. It is really hard to stop bullying when the schools are having to work against the students and the parents.
How can we moms help you?
Let your child know what bullying is and that you -- the parent -- won't tolerate it. We need a united front. This also means that when you are picking up your kid from school and you witness bullying, tell them to knock it off. Then tell the administration. Just like the gang rape after the homecoming dance at Richmond High School in California, we all need to do the right thing and not stand by when someone is being harassed/ bullied/injured. Granted, the parent of the bully might not be too happy, but is it right to let the innocent be harmed?
Has a teacher or the school ever accused your child of being a bully? Did you take action against your child?