My Scooby-Doo Love-Hate Relationship

on November 4, 2009 at 3:01 PM

I grew up with Scooby-Doo and his wacky friends, and now my son (and my daughter by osmosis) is going through his own Scooby phase. He goes to library once a week, and the past three times he's carted home a Scooby book.

My kids love the stories. I like reading them because they teach about heroism, problem-solving, and the importance of friendship.

And now that I've given Scooby his props, let me tell you why he also makes this Mommy want to 'jack the Mystery Machine and drive it off a cliff:

1. The plot of every Scooby-Doo mystery is exactly the same. Take Scooby-Doo and the Weird Water Park and Scooby and the Alien Invaders, two recent ones we've read.

The basic chronology of each Scooby story:

Shaggy and Scooby want Scooby Snacks;

Shaggy and Scooby are afraid, but they will risk their life for Scooby snacks;

Costumed villains try to chase the kids away from their secret, which involves the gain of power, money, or natural resources;

Velma solves the mystery, because Fred and Daphne are just too good looking;

Shaggy and Scooby eat Scooby Snacks.

Just substitute Water Monsters for Aliens and a few miscellaneous details and it's the same story.

2. It's physically impossible to talk like Scooby Doo at 8:30 at night. As you know, Scooby speaks in a gruff yowl voice. I'd be okay imitating that if the dog didn't also pronounce every word with an R ("Ruh-roh, Raggy")."

Trying to adopt both verbal quirks around bedtime is challenging and incredibly irritating to listen to. So my Scooby speaks without a speech impediment in perfect, unbroken English.

3. The "kids" are really hobos. Not the best role models. And, c'mon, they are not kids, they are adults or older teens at best. They need to get a real job. A lifetime pass to the water park will not build retirement savings.

So you here you have two jobless men and two jobless women shacking up in a van and traveling the country together. My daughter asked me the other night, "Why do they always wear the same clothes? And which girl is married to which boy?"

Oops! Would you look at the clock. Bedtime!

Oh, it's all in good fun. Any children's books irritate you lately?

Mom Confessions: I Hate Reading Children's Books

About the author Cynthia Dermody

is The Stir's Managing Editor who has trophies in her home for her skills at the Irish Jig. She makes cupcakes with as many fattening ingredients as possible, doesn't comb her hair for months at a time, and was probably a faerie in a former life.

table4six

on Nov 4, 2009 at 4:28 PM

My kids like Scooby as well. He doesn't bother me (yet), I hate Captain Underpants. Those books are about the only things my boys will consistently read. All that toilet humor isn't even remotely funny to anyone but young boys and my husband.

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aurorabunny

on Nov 4, 2009 at 5:06 PM

Damn dirty hippies, all of 'em.

Daily Buzz Team

on Nov 4, 2009 at 5:39 PM

HAHAHAHA! This is seriously too funny! Oh those meddling kids and their dumb dog!

JenniferZiemba

on Nov 4, 2009 at 11:17 PM

tooo funny. i can't stand the cartoons. i used to love them as a kid and now when my son watches them i just can't stand them. they are sooo goofy.

as far as books go so far (my son is 3) i buy him books that i like to read. although green eggs and ham can be pretty annoying to read at night sometimes. i love dr suess but sometimes i just do not like him, sam i am.

LostTheSlipper

on Nov 5, 2009 at 10:49 AM

Eh it's the lesser of two evils. Scooby or Spongebob - Scooby wins in my book.

Momof3cuties

on Nov 5, 2009 at 2:59 PM

LOL....Bella is on a HUGE Scooby kick these days. I must hear Zoinks and Reericious (delicious but with the scooby accent) a thousand times day! It's not annoying to me yet but....Yo Gabba Gabba...ugh..shoot me!