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My daughter was big into secrets for a while. She'd ask me to bend down so she could whisper in my ear .... "Mommy, don't tell anyone ...
... but today the science lady came to school."
... I'm going to go to the bathroom now."
... I like white kitties."
So for her, a secret wasn't the information but believing that you knew something that no one else knew and being able to decide who was worthy of hearing it. I promised her I'd take that white kitty revelation to the grave.
Now that she's older, it gets more complicated. There is tattling -- we classify this as something that someone else is doing that's not harming the doer or anyone else. There are good secrets, keeping harmless confidences from friends ("I think Joey is cute"), and then there are dangerous secrets, safety issues, inappropriate behavior issues, things that she definitely needs to tell Mommy and Daddy no matter what her friends say.
CafeMoms like the fact that their kids share all kinds of secrets, it shows a level of trust. Their kids have told some pretty startling ones lately. Here are a few ...
My y best friend's youngest daughter, 4, told me that when she was riding with her daddy after being picked up from daycare that her daddy hit something with his work truck. I haven't had a chance to look at the truck to see if she was telling the truth or not. I don't want to say anything about it and cause problems. However, if he did hit something then my friend has a right to know so that she is not putting her daughter in jeopardy. -- lizziesmommy
- When Lily was 6 years old, our dog was losing his puppy teeth and she confided in me that one day she tried to stick one of Brinkley's teeth under her pillow to get money from the tooth fairy. I asked her if it worked. -- ErikaRobin
- I bet you didn't know that Santa has little tiny robot bugs that fly around and report your behavior back to him did you? As well as his many satellites out in space. Which he can type on the computer to see you whenever he wants. Well, now you do. My 8 year old just told me this secret he learned from a friend at school last night. -- kmrtigger
What types of secrets have your children told you lately? Do you encourage them to tell you everything, and do they?