Tween Life: Family vs. Friends

Cynthia Dermody
4
tween giving the peace sign

Photo by 4timesblessed

Does this describe your tween?

They never want to go on family outings OR They always want to bring a friend along.

If they go alone, they are miserable and mope around the whole time. If you let them bring the friend, they spend all their time hanging out with her and ignoring you and other family members.

One mom over in Tween Titans is at the point of frustration with her 12 year old. She has a younger child to think about, too.

"Our outings are ruined or I just don't end up doing as much with her because of the unpleasantness from my other daughter," she says. "When we do bring a friend along, the outing is not as enjoyable for the rest of us either. Why can't my daughter just enjoy outings with me and her sister?! Or understand that she makes things so unpleasant for the rest of us, even though I have sat down and explained things over and over and over again?"

Oh, because she's a normal tween, I'm afraid. That's just what they do.

bleumonster occasionally lets friends come along on family outings with both her children, but she sets ground rules beforehand.

1. Before she extends the invitation, I let her know that if something costs money, such as the movies or dinner, that either the child brings her own money or my child pays for it out of her babysitting money.

2. They are not allowed to bring a child along a second time if that child has misbehaved or made it uncomfortable for the rest of the family.

3. If my child misbehaves (after a warning), I will turn around and take the other child home and then we will go home.

4. If we have had "company" too much, then I will say no, I want to spend time with just the two of you.

5. You can either say a friend can come along to X amount of outings and if you complain or whine at any time then no friends can come, or just be firm and say no more friends, period.

What are your ground rules for allowing friends to attend family dinners and outings? Do you ever say "no"?

 

Related posts:

Tween Girl Life: Sexual Experimentation

Is 13 the New 18

Read More