We Have the Worst Tooth Fairy Ever!

loose tooth, tooth fairy, teeth

Photo by ETEVYS

That's right. I'm, er, I mean, our tooth fairy is the worst tooth fairy ever! She should be fired. She actually forgot to come. Twice!

What kind of tooth fairy is she? Awful, I tell you...


My son Clyde's first tooth fairy visit came pretty early when he had to have a molar extracted due to dental issues. He got a whopping $10 for that big boy.

Next, out came his first lower tooth. He got a couple bucks from the tooth fairy. No problem. Good times.

It was after the second lower tooth fell out that the tooth fairy and her accountability got called into question. Yep, she forgot. Luckily, we did some real quick thinking in the morning and, with an exquisite slight-of-hand maneuver, the darn fairy's forgetfulness was covered up.

We never dreamed she'd ever forget again.

A few weeks ago, Clyde lost his first top tooth while we were out of town. His auntie told him she'd hold the tooth, so the tooth fairy could come when he was back home again. She sent the tooth home with us, his trusted parents. We tucked it safely under his pillow at home and said goodnight.

The next morning, I woke at 5:30am with a start. "#$%&!" I mouthed to my husband Ed. "The tooth fairy!" We ran around our bedroom, bumping into each other and waving our hands around in silence. I sent Ed in with a guilty five bucks. He slipped in and slipped out without a hitch.

Except he forgot the tooth.

So in again and then...caught red handed! Clyde was awake and wondering what was up. Ed bumbled, "I was just checking to see if the tooth fairy came." But somehow the money was back in Ed's hand, the tooth still under the pillow. I walked by Ed, grabbed the money, and excitedly fished around under Clyde's pillow.

"Look! Wow! Five whole dollars!" I squealed.

Clyde then pulled out the tooth in a baggy and held it up. "But..."

The rest of the scene was horrible. Several long minutes of back pedalling and excuses and bungling embarrassment. Now Clyde just thinks his tooth fairy forgot to take his tooth. Little does he know his tooth fairy (tooth fairies?) is the worst excuse for a tooth fairy ever.

Has your child's tooth fairy ever fallen down on the job? Did you pull off a cover-up?

Read More >