Does Your Tween Have a Bad Attitude?


tweens with bad attitudesOrdinarily, we'd expect our teenagers to (at times) be moody, mouthy, and disrespectful, or to have an attitude. But lots of moms say their tweens are exhibiting disrespectful behavior, and they're wondering what to do about it...

MYTWOKIDS131 posted in the Advice for Moms Group about her 7-year-old daughter who "has an attitude...rolling her eyes, stomping when mad, back-talking, ignoring,  being mean to her little sister, etc." She's wondering if this is her daughter's true personality or if it's just a stage.

Moms were quick to empathize with her, saying that they saw this type of behavior with their tweens and that it is usually just a stage:

  • AutymsMommy: My daughter is almost 8... she went through this stage at the beginning of 7. We didn't punish her for it, though. But we were able to show her HOW to be kind and respectful, and that we just do not respond, at all, to a disrespectful nature. We haven't had a problem with her attitude in months.
  • Mamamia819: Nip it in the butt now, because coming from the mom of 13- and 10-year-old girls, it doesn't get any better as they get older. Let her know what is not acceptable, and under no circumstances should you tolerate it.
  • Ann7227: I have all boys. Haven't gotten that kind of attitude. But the girl across the street she is 12 and acts just like that and, no surprise, has zero friends.

Does your tween have a bad attitude or act disrespectfully? How do you handle it?

behavior, discipline, tweens


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shellnab shellnab

I'm currently going through this with my 11 yr. old son.  I get it from my 8 yr. old son too, but yesterday, I took them to the Bible and shared verses with them about what God says regarding honoring and obeying parents.  It was a good strategy that I will use as needed.

writeon writeon

My ds,age 12, is individuating. They need to assert their indepenence at this age. They are also faced with many challenges as tweens today. We allow him to express his moods and disapointment when we say no, to an extent. He has consequenses for disrespect, that is simply not allowed.

kidsr... kidsrecipes

I have a 12 year old boy who yes is starting to debate every thing we say as parents.  It is very taxing at times as he is smart.  He is big tall kids so he is treated like an adult by most people, but he is still only 12 going into 8th grade.  We have taken away all Video Games and TV when he is disrespectful or talks back.  This is a tough age, I can hardly wait till he really is a teen.

nonmember avatar Nonviolent pare

Disrepectfulness, talking back, rude ignorance to what you're saying/asking, stomping mad/throwing tantrums... These are all undesired behaviors by parents and is very difficult for us to deal with. Have you considered looking into the reason why your child is being disrespectful, stomping mad, or being in a way that irritates, frustrates, or angers you? Rather than just telling them not to do something undesirable to you, have you told them why and how?

Raising kids compassionately - Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD

"other people’s actions, no matter how painful to us, are simply attempts to meet their needs. It requires reminding ourselves, again and again, of a crucial point: that people will prefer to meet their needs in ways that don’t harm others when given options that they believe will really meet their own needs."

chris... chris1975

i have a 12bo with a bad attitude ik the feeling.....i finally told him that if he wants anything from me he has to have respect....he used to be mommas boy and we were close but now its all about bein a i miss my baby.......i also have a 14yr old gurl with attitude......shes got a big heart and a bigger attitude like her lil brother.......idk what too do anymore......i give the options and if they cant agree i flip a coin they hate that.....they want there independence and its hard too let go.....i feel for all the moms out ter who have tweens they are a hand full....

trsty... trstyrhart

I have a 13 year old who is going on 18.  Thinks he knows it all.  I have to keep reminding him he is only reference to dating and at the same time his is 13 and is old enough to do chores without complaining.  etc, it is very frustrating.  I have a 15 year old that doesn't complain much when asked to do chores, but school is another issue.  And an 18 year old who I can not motovate.  Thanks for letting me vent!frustrated

kayos... kayos_101

I have  12 year old girl who i have check to make sure she has deoderant brushed ect.She is going through puberty so she is also emotional.She fight whith me about doing chores (in the end i win ).we asked her if she cursed at her sister she stared crying .She wasnt in trouble we just asked.5min.later we see heron couch still crying ask her what is wrong she said she was in trouble for curseing at boo she didnt do it .she was never in trouble we just asked if she didme &dh were just like wow.So we asked her if she was emo child she started laughing said no .I was starting to wonder if she is ok if all the water works and mood swings and attidute were normal

ethan... ethans_momma06

I am SO happy I am not going through this yet!!

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