Tween Girl Life: Sexual Experimentation

tweensThere is no question that this is a very difficult subject for many parents. Moms of tweens are constantly dealing with what seems like alarming changes in their children (even though many times the changes are normal, albeit sexual in nature). Sexual exploration at 9, 10, 11, and 12 is actually more common than many people think.

This is not to suggest that kids this age should ever engage in sex, but most seem to develop a heightened awareness of their bodies. Dr. Laura Berman even discussed self-stimulation (or masturbation) within this age group on a recent Oprah episode.


Tweens, especially, are dealing with a rush of hormones that often lead them to a new interest in the opposite sex and perhaps even hand-holding, hugging and kissing. But what happens when seemingly straight  tweens, particularly girls, show an interest in the same sex? It's a question A.W.96 asked. She wants to know if it's normal for best friends 11 and 12 to "experiment." In her post she says, "with pants on, of course." I assume she means, kissing and touching.

In the responses, CM moms were divided between being disgusted and completely understanding.

my2.5boys said, "I experimented with a close girl friend, but it wasn't because I thought I might be gay, it was because I was more comfortable with her, than anyone else. And I'm pretty sure I was younger than 11 or 12. I turned out just fine too. I am in a very stable marriage, with a beautiful family, and couldn't be happier with the way my life turned out. Tell your daughter not to worry. It is perfectly normal, and nothing to feel guilty about."

But an anon mom countered, "For them to perform sexual things on each other but with clothes at 11 or 12... What kind of mother even ask such a question not knowing if this is normal or not? No it's not.. .they are 11 or 12!!! What happened to girls being pure? I swear so many parents have bought into such a lie by what they see in the media and stuff."

Do you agree with either of these mothers? Do you think that sexual curiosity/ experimentation (minus sex) is normal between tween girls?


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