
photo by nanamarie
He's got a permit. Gulp. She passed the driver's test. Two gulps. They're on the road. Double by-pass. Listen, there's no way around it. One day they are going to drive. Yep, your baby, on the highway with the rest of America. For the moms that are living with new drivers, we all feel for you (and will be there soon enough). But worrying incessantly (which won't stop anyway) is not enough to keep them safe.
One anonymous mom of a new driver wants to know how to cope. Well, the best thing you can do for yourself--and for your driving teen--is to make driving safety an ongoing (everyday, if necessary) conversation. I really like how mom salexander put it: "Set rules and limitations. Start slow, don't let her drive at night or with loads of friends in her car-- that sort of thing. Tell her with time comes experience, and you will loosen the leash. I can see her eyes rolling in her head as you tell her for the 12th million time "a car is not a toy but a two-ton weapon," but say it anyway. I had my kids call when they were leaving and when they arrived for a short period of time and I felt better. Share in her excitement and good luck!"
One other thing you can do is to make the consequences of irresponsible driving clear from the outset. Sure, remind them that if they're caught speeding, texting or heaven forbid, drinking while driving, they lose their privileges. Period. But also let them see articles like this one (A 22-year-old was court-ordered to wear an "I was stupid" sign after driving drunk and crashing into a garage), and encourage them to check out helpful sites like teendriving.com. If you're up for it, even make them read articles about the horror stories of teens who were careless on the road. In the case of grooming new drivers, scare tactics seem like fair game. Let us know how you handled the new driver in your house.
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Comments (3)
Well my son (13) has just finished drivers ed at school and is eligible to take the behind the wheel training, though I think I wont do that till he is 14. (He is a freshman in hs, skipped a grade). Reading articles about unsafe driving and the accidents they cause was part of their homework in the class.
BTW- Did you know that placing your hands at the 10 and 2 position as we have been taught is dangerous in cars with airbags? If it is deployed it will break your arms! They are now saying 9 and 3 is the proper position.
He has been driving since he was 5 if you count go carts. Dad from time to time will let him drive around the parking lot or move cars around in the driveway. (Yes he is in the car,truck, or van with him at all times) So I am not too worried about his driving skills. What worries me is when he is with his friends and the peer pressure to drive recklessly to impress others.
When my oldest got his permit, I had no fears. My instincts told me he was ready and was just a "natural" at driving. I had no fear of being in the car with him. I trusted his judgement and skills.
My 17yo---OMG! I'm scared to death to be in a car with him. He NEVER was behind the wheel of a car. He would drive the lawn tracker around. That was his extent of driving ANYTHING. He just never had a desire. In PA, you can get a permit at 16. We didn't push him. We would ask him, talk to him, he just wasn't into driving yet. Finally, when he turned 17, he asked to get his permit. So we got it. We started out slow, the high school parking lot. Then graduated to the industrial park's parking lots, then the industrial park itself with all it's 4-way stops. After he got bored with that, we hit the houseing development. Then out onto some of the side roads. This is all over the span of 4 months. He now can drive to the school and home. He drives home from school everyday. He can get gas, drives to the grocery store and to some friend's houses. He's gotten better, but there still have been some hair raising moments. He has since bought his first car which has made the training a bit easier (who wants to drive a car that's not cool??). His driving test is in December. His father and I will be the judge of that. I truly don't think he's ready at this point. And we will hold him until we think he's ready. Don't let your child get a permit or license unless YOU feel he's ready.
I know that driving can be a scarry thing!
When I started to drive I worried my mother a lot about where I was going and how fast I was driving...
Could you take this survey to help us decide how to decrease this worry in parents accross the nation?
Teen Driving should be monitored, at least to some extent. We are launching a program to alert parents about the situations their teens are driving in.
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=UWgTj89M_2bKE7y4nV4wIM8g_3d_3d
Thanks, Nick