Giving Condoms to a 14-Year-Old Daughter

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condoms, birth controlBack in January, I stumbled across (and wrote about) a mom's story about hearing from her hubby that her 14-year-old son wanted condoms.

Today I read in the NYT blog Motherlode, the "sister" story, if you will. This time, the issue is about giving condoms to a 14-year-old girl.

In the piece blogger Lisa Belkin cites some important info: Teenage birth rates are climbing. They had been decreasing steadily from 1991 to 2005 (down by 45 percent during those years) but began to inch back up again since then — rising another percent in 2007, for an increase of 4 percent between 2005 and 2007, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, which released those numbers last week.

But her story is really about a mother's dilemma. Understanding the stakes involved, many parents of teenagers entertain the idea of providing their kids with condoms, but simply can't find the strength/nerves/guts to do it. Here's why. We want our kids to be protected, but we want them more NOT TO HAVE SEX. Moms on the fence about offering condoms wrestle with the internal question: If I give my child condoms, aren't I implicitly supporting the idea of her/him having sex?

How would you answer that?

behavior, sex & dating, teens

145 Comments

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fluud7 fluud7

you're absolutely condoning it if you give them condoms, pay for birth control pills, or any other sort of non-abstinence contraceptives.


if you want your kids to NOT have sex, teach them from a very young age that it's absolutely not acceptable and that it's not God's plan for their life. most of all, LIVE BY EXAMPLE.

aidan... aidansmommy961

I'd much rather my 14 year old daughter use condoms and be smart about protecting herself rather than end up with an STD or a child.

angel... angelachristine

I don't know but I'd be extremely disappointed in my child if at 14 they felt they needed condoms. I would probably try to keep them home and monitor them more closely and let them know it's not acceptable to have sex at that young of an age.


I feel like I  would if not encourage them imply I consent or support their having sex and I don't.

mommy... mommyflynn5

I will not give them to my children ever.  They can buy them when they are married if they choose.  We are teaching our children that sex if for marriage only.

Gaber... Gaberielle

if the kid wants to have sex they're going to weather they use condoms or not. So just give them condoms, tell them that you would be much happier if they waited but if they aren't going to wait then to at least be safe about it.

jus1jess jus1jess

Acepting that teens have sex and keeping them protected is good parenting. Keeping them ignorant, uninformed, and practically forced into abstinence is wrong. I want my daughter to wait as long as possible. But using words like "unacceptable" will just lead to kid having sex behind your back. I for one would like to know when my kid has sex to protect her and help her through the emotional part of this huge phase.

misty... mistynights234

I would like it if my daughter was a virgin until an adult.....but in the real world this could happen or not.  I think that its important to keep your kids safe no matter how uncomfortable it makes you as a parent.  I dont think there is anything wrong with educating your children to remain virgins, as long as your ready to educate them on how to be safe.  Who would you rather they went to for advice and information? 

Jssg86 Jssg86

I know I will have condoms for my boys if they ever ask, I dont want any accidents.  Their dad was sexually active at 12 so. I just hope they wait but you never know. 

lanlan lanlan

it might sound like a good idea but its not because once a teen gets them they think they can have sex all the time even wen it only protects them 99.9% of the way or something


how did u think i ended up were i did now

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