Hit Him Back: When to Advocate Violence

boxing glovesAt home my kindergartner is a tough guy. He pounces on his dad to wrestle and practices his Tae Kwon Do faithfully. He likes to watch football with his father and when I'm not looking, they sneak in a few boxing matches. I know for sure if I were to let him watch wrestling and that other even more violent stuff like Ultimate Fighting, he'd be a devote.


But none of this seems to matter at school, where my son is regularly bullied by other kids. He's literally had a black eye before. His teacher and other parents often say the kids are just  "playing rough," but why is it that my baby always feels slighted and is the one hurt?

Well this week, I changed the course of my parenting in a major way. No more, "If someone bothers you, let a grown up know." After my kid recently told me another kid hit him on the chin, all while the other boys were chasing him down, I lost it. Okay?

"If a bunch of guys ever chase you again, don't run anywhere," I demanded. "Don't worry about all of them, stop and just get one of them and get him good. Use everything you learned in karate--punch and kick and jump on top of him until he's screaming for his mommy!" My son laughed a little at the thought of one of the bully kids in desperation.

"I'm serious, Lorenzo," I said. Forget what Mommy said before. "Fight back--the most important rule is DON'T EVER LET ANYONE HURT YOU."

When the school policy is "no fighting," do you still tell your child to fight back?

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