Big Kid Dilemma: When Brother and Sister Share a Room


When children are infants, toddlers or even early elementary school kids, the reality of opposite sex siblings sharing a room is not super-challenging. There may be the issue of  "Do I paint the walls pink or blue?", but by and large, at those younger ages everything works itself out.

It's when kids reach their tween and teen years that co-ed room sharing can become problematic. And many moms--especially in an economy where most of us can't afford a huge house or apartment--are faced with this dilemma.

I have a good friend struggling with this right now and she's often at the point of tears. Her kids have loft beds at either side of the room, but that doesn't help anything when it comes to the matter of privacy and friends. Her teenage daughter hates being home because she can't stand being in her brother's friends' company. Her son hates having so many beauty products and girl stuff everywhere he looks.

What works best for my girlfriend now is giving her tween and tween "company schedules," that is, specific days of the week that either kid can have friends over. As for the beauty products, her son just has to get over it.

Are you a mother facing this problem? Do you have any suggestions for making life easier for a brother and sister who have to share a room? Do tell!

independence, teens, tweens


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Sabby... SabbyMommy

It isa problem to have teens of oppisite sexes sharing a room... Both sexes start getting curious about their bodies, and about the oposite sex.... It is asking for trouble, and there is a reason it is illegal in most states... Just because you did it and nothing happened to you, doesn't mean that one of your kids won't get just a little bit too curious. If I were in a situation where two children of oposite sexes had to share a room, one of them would have my room, and I'd sleep on the couch. No curiosity in my house.

parke... parkersmommyj

people nowadays are disgusting. why do  minds automatically wander to incest? were you attracted to your brothers growing up? i think not. some people can not afford housing. we live in a 2 bedroom apt. if i got pregnant with a girl, i could not afford to move into a bigger place. my kids would be sharing a room. we dont have expensive toys, we drive an older car. so what else do we give up? If you have a lesbian daughter, or gay son, would they not be able to share a room with the same sex then? why isnt there a law against that? same idea, they "might" get curious with a sibling.


Kay300 Kay300

I agree with the first post........  The parent would just have to sleep in the living room and give up Their room.........  You NEVER have a Tween/Teen Boy and Girl in the same room...........  and since people don't understand this... Thats why we have CPS.... I'm sorry to say........  -- If it was a Mortgaged house, I'd call the Loan Holder, and tell them......... I'm leaving..........  --- You would have to go Rent a 3 Bedroom Apartment whatever........  or if your in an Apartment by God, you go get a Bigger One....  --  It frustrates me that parents aren't smart enough to see this is fixable easily.

Fallaya Fallaya

Such dirty brother sister and I shared a room until I was almost 18 years old (bro is 1.5 years younger than me, sis is 5 years younger than me).  There was no weirdness about it.  If it was illegal we didn't know about it. 

Betty... BettyBoo108

I am much older then most of you I think. When I was a child we were very poor and we only had two bedrooms, there were four girls and one boy. There was no way we could sleep with our little brouther. He had to sleep on the couch. I do not think there is anything wrong with shareing a room up to the age of 5or 6. The reason why is because times have changed so much. You hear all the time stories on the news about 8yr old girls giveing boys blow jobs on the bus,thirteen yr olds getting pregnant, rapes among teenagers that go unreported for years. Drugs! I raised five children of my own and kept many others, and you can teach them everything right, but their going to do what there going to do. Every parent thinks there child will be the one who won't, well I hope you sit a good example they will do what they see you do.

spiteful spiteful

i don't think that it is right for kids to have to sleep in the same room as a silbing, i once dated a guy that had his children sleep in the same room as him in there own bed but still i didn't agree with his ideas

Momma... MommaTasha1003

i do feel for any family that is in that type of situation. but IMO once puberty hits kids need to be seperated. Teens are learning about their own body & are curious of the other sex. Its not about are you attracted to your sibling, its about raging hormones, its about curiosity that parents should fear. I dont trust my toddler girl alone with any male under the age of 18-20 simply because of the curiosity factor.

DayDa... DayDaysmom19

Fallaya, it has nothing to do with having a dirty mind, it has to do with reality and being a smart parent. Just because nothing happened with your family doesn't mean it's not possible. It's more common than you think! Trust me, I know. I would separate them before the tween years even. I certianly don't think annoying friends and beauty products are the main issue here.

babyfat5 babyfat5

I had cps in my home on a bogus call and the only thing they came up with was that I had my 7 year old son in the same room as my 3 year old daughter. They made me mover her bed into the other room with the 2 girls so I had to have 3 girls in one room and him in a room by himself. You need to check with cps on that one because if they come in because you piss off some neighbor and they call they will have a fit over that even if what they came there for is bogus. My aunt in another state went through the same thing and they made her get another apartment because she had 3 kids 2 boys and one girl sharing one large room ... they would not leave her alone until she moved and that was the only thing they had on her.

4monkees 4monkees

GASP!!  Some people make their kids share rooms!?!  I made sure we had a five bedroom house just so all of my kids have their own rooms!  I mean we only eat top ramen, use candles unstead of electricity and cook over the fire place, but NO WAY will my kids share a room!!!!! JK

Be realistic people, sometimes we just do what we have to do.  I would suggest that that she hang a sheet down the center of the room and one gets each side.  that wasy they don't have to look @ eachothers stuff.

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