My Baby Is Getting Her Period!

on February 21, 2009 at 7:45 AM

Hey, everyone, this is Cafe Cynthia paying a visit to Big Kids today!

My mother would kill me if she knew I told you this, so hush is the word ... When I was a teen, Mom did not handle the whole "menstruation" talk all that great. Or, I should say, lack of talk.

My mom wasn't good about uncomfortable or embarrassing subjects, especially those related to any type of reproductive organ, so she just avoided it.

Long story short, I learned what I needed to about menstruation from my sex ed teacher and my friends, and I turned out okay in the end. That was a long time ago. Today, my parents are a lot more forthcoming, and I can talk to my mom about everything and (almost) anything.

But I'm still a little blown away when I learn about such open and proactive moms like an anonymous mother I stumbled across in the Advice for Moms group.

Her daughter just turned 11, and for the past few days the girl has cramps for no reason, and several of the other classic symptoms as well.

"I have had the talk with her (all day)," rthe mom says. "I looked up things on the Internet and we went over them together. And she has asked a lot of questions. I just hope I have answered them right and made her feel at ease with all of this. She is just a little girl still. This just snuck up and smacked me!"

rosa3 is worried that she hasn't done enough -- enough! -- to prepare her daughter for her first period. If only she could have given advice to my mom ...

Other moms agreed she has all the bases covered, but I thought mrswhitey07 added a great footnote:

"Also let her know she can always come to you and talk. Remember her hormones will be raging, so don't punish her for liking boys, just explain and emphasize boundaries and what is acceptable and not.

"When I was showing symptoms, my mom had me wear a panty liner to bed because girls tend to start their cycles in the beginning when their bodies are relaxed, while they are sleeping most likely. Good luck with the future teenager!"

++Did you have the menstruation talk with your tween or teen daughter yet? Did you do it differently than your mom did? What types of questions did your daugther ask you?

About the author Cynthia Dermody

is The Stir's Managing Editor who has trophies in her home for her skills at the Irish Jig. She makes cupcakes with as many fattening ingredients as possible, doesn't comb her hair for months at a time, and was probably a faerie in a former life.

Filed Under: health, puberty, teens, tweens

Comments (40)

the1youluv2hate

on Feb 21, 2009 at 9:33 AM

My mom didn't have a talk with me either, you'll never guess what she did! She went to the library got a book about periods and sex etc. MY DAD handed it to me told me to read it and they would have me take a test! I told them no thanks and threw the book back! When the times comes I WILL have a talk with my daughter, no book or test!

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coke2pep

on Feb 21, 2009 at 10:04 AM

My daughter and I sat down to have a talk so I could explain things about her period to her. I didn't want her to freak out after all. Anyway, we sat down and I told her what I wanted to talk to her about and she said: "MOM! I already know all about that!" Then she proceeded to get up and walk away saying, "GEEEEZ""! LOL She was 10 or 11. I don't know where she learned it, but she didn't want to talk about it with me. Well, I got embarrassed when my mom tried to tell me too. I didn't want to listen, so I can't complain about her. I just bought her some kotex and put them in her cabinet and told her where they were. She said thanks mom, but I am going to use tampons! WTH?

RBurton1996

on Feb 21, 2009 at 10:05 AM

My daughter is only 8 and we have already talked about it. She even has the American Girl book about her body. We haven't had an official sex talk yet, just about her body and periods, but I know the sex talk is not far off.

beccasmomabcd

on Feb 21, 2009 at 10:10 AM

Sounds like you're doing great Mom! Keep up the good work!

I just wish that my Mother would have that talk with me. She always made me feel guilty if I talked about my menstrual or sex talk or anything like that.

My daughter's 2 now but I would hope that later on in life that she and I can enjoy an open honest relationship that I NEVER had with my Mum.

Well, I won't make her feel quilty about talking to me fist off and secod tell her that sheNEVER needs to be afraid to tell me anything. That's what I'll do.

I wish you the best of luck. It sounds like your doing pretty good to me.

Holly

lovemybabys1106

on Feb 21, 2009 at 10:59 AM

My mom was always really open with me. I have known where babys come from since I was 5. I also new how they got there. I plan on being just as open with my girls, they are too young right now but my three year old knows that her baby sister came out of mommy vagina (which she calls an "area" LOL) and she knows that daddy helped the baby get in mommys belly but she does not know how yet. And wont for four or five more years at least.

ShadowRaven

on Feb 21, 2009 at 11:49 AM

My mom never really had to actually have "the talk" with me. I was always a curious girl, so whenever she would get her period, I would ask her random questions about it. When I got my first period and she decided to sit me down to talk about it, she discovered that I was already fully prepared for it and knew what to expect because she had already answered all of my questions over the years without realizing it.

MoonLover06

on Feb 21, 2009 at 12:04 PM

My mom was always very open with me and I was shocked that someone's mom told them she would start her period when she had 40 pubic hairs. LOL. Parents are cruel to their kids leaving them in the dark. I'm sure the talk will be coming with my DD. She follows me to the bathroom and last time I was on my period she said "mommy has a booboo" so I know it's coming.

mommyonhawaii

on Feb 21, 2009 at 12:26 PM

I knew about periods early on. I started when I was almost 15 and remember being embarassed that I was the last one to get it. But I got them bad, heavy bleeding and bad cramps. If I had a girl, I would explain everything. I'd tell her if her cramps of bleeding were bad, to not be embarassed to ask to see the doctor because there are ways to help. It took me 4 years of suffering and missing work and classes before I worked up the courage to see the doctor. Two months on BC pills and I wasn't bleeding through an overnight pad in an hour or vomiting from my cramps!

Momof2Stepof3

on Feb 21, 2009 at 1:26 PM

We had the "sex ed" program I knew more then most in 6th grade and well 10 days later I started mine. Sadly my soon to be 4th grade DD has started all classic signs of her body changing and I've talked to her till I was blue in my face. She is only 8 about to be 9 and still has the problum about changing panties and keeping her body clean. To answer the question yes I have had the talk and I've talked to my DS 10 about his changes also.

goatmom4

on Feb 21, 2009 at 1:45 PM

I started the talk around 10 becuz I knew the periods where comming younger my mom told the neighborheeod I did not but my daughter was better informed and it did come to one of my daughters younge we are working on all the cleaning stuff kids don't have it easy but they do know they can ask me anything and I will find the answer