Single Mom Raising A Boy

The Stir Bloggers

February 17, 2009 at 11:03 AM

A father and son is a beautiful thing,

but sometimes dad's not there.

Maybe you've heard this saying before, "a woman can't teach a boy how to be a man." I've heard it said many times in my life, and frankly, I find it to be insulting, and more than that, off-base. I know many men--amazing men--who were raised by single women. A healthy relationship with their father is the ideal for any child's life--male or female--but it's not just about a dad, it takes a village to raise a child. In the end, most of us can agree that the healthiest adults are those who've had a range of positive influences in their life, some men, some women.

That said, for mothers who are raising boys alone, there are unique challenges before them. JPsMommy605, a single mom with a 3 1/2 year old boy says she has an embarrassing dilemma. She writes in the CM group Raising the Only Boy: "Lately, my son has started asking every man he spends more than one minute with if they want to come over to our house and play. I know my son is seeking more male companionship that his father cannot give him, but it's getting embarrassing to have my son constantly asking men (most are married) if they want to come over and play! He did it again at the park today when he met one of his friends from school and while they were playing, asked his friend's dad (not his friend) if he wanted to come over...ugh."

Well, the responses from moms were supportive and thoughtful. Understanding that what JP'smommy's son needs is more male bonding, the suggestions ranged from putting him in martial arts classes, to looking into Big Brothers/Big Sisters.

In many regards, JP'smommy's dilemma is a common one, so if you have any first-hand experience raising a boy alone, or know someone else who is and is doing a great job, please share their story. I bet it will be of major help to the legions of moms who face this struggle everyday.