Do You Hate Your Kid's Friends?

20

fight, dogsOkay, maybe hate is too strong a word.

But I know I'm not the only mom out there who has some, let's see how I can put this, um, issues with her kid's friend.

Now they started out fine, my boy and his friend we'll call Dave. In fact, our very first playdate as a kindergartner was with Dave. We went to his house, met his interesting, college professor parents, and said hello to his older sibs--including a 10-year-old sister, who didn't return the greeting (was this a sign?).

What I hadn't realized early on was the dynamic between the two boys. My kid is much more of a follower, Dave much more the leader. As the months went by, Dave started to get sort of mean to my son. He'd come home with tales of how Dave wouldn't play with him during outdoor play, or how Dave told someone else not to be my son's friend.

The straw that broke the camel's back for me was when the wrestling began. During outdoor play, apparently, wrestling among the boys had become the activity of choice. Now Dave is about a head taller than everyone else--he's among the older kids in the class and he's got giant parents. But I digress. One day I picked my baby up from school, and he told me that Dave hit him.

In haste I said let's talk about it in the car. Well, which would you like to hear first? How Dave was punching my son in the stomach repeatedly to see how much pain he could take? Or how he punched him in the face?

When my kid said this, I almost went crazy. But when I slowed down enough to examine his face closely and realized that my 5-year-old practically had a black eye, I lost it!

After lecturing my son about not letting anyone hurt him, calls to the teacher and a talk with Dave's mother about how I don't buy the "boys will be boys" thing and that her son had better keep his hands to himself, I felt a little better that this won't happen again. But it surely did nothing to help me like Dave.

Do you dislike any of your kid's friends? Why?

behavior, bullies, elementary school, friends

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sherriet sherriet

That's terrible!  DD had a supposed friend in 3rd grade who told her she had to decide if she ad DD were really friends or not, then hit her a few times.  I was livid!  It was taken care of quickly once I made the teacher and principal aware, but to this day DD is not keen on making female friends. 


I don't have problems with her friends now other than their desire to talk to me at length about gaming and sci-fi.  It's cool to them that I like the things they like. They forget sometimes that I'm one of the parents.

paula405 paula405

I hate that "phrase kids will be kids" who cares? Why aren't kids taught to be nice? It sounds like the family is rude and I hope your son makes new friends and doesn't get hurt anymore.


my friends daughter had a a girl tell her that she didn't like her and wanted her to die. At 4 years old they might not get the hurtful things that they say but seriously where do they learn this?


 

lipst... lipstickclouds

Yikes that is awful, I think I would almost pull my kid outta school to keep him away from a "friend" like that...luckily that kind of thing hasn't been a problem with us yet and hopefully won't be...

abbey... abbeycakes1

We have a neighbor "friend" who's son is a puncher. He has never hit my son, but has hit my other neighbor friend's son. Quite a few times. I don't want my son playing with this kid even though nothing has happened between the two......yet.  This little boy is tiny, compared to our son's and I think the parents have told him he has to act "big" to fit in. They are raising a bully and have no clue why nobody wants their kid to play with him.

Julie... Julie411me

Heck yeah!  My teenager befriended a girl I will call...hmmmm ...Bauren.  (not her real name)   Here are a few stories about her.


The first time she met her, my daughter, who suffers from several back conditions was wearing a back brace.  She took it off to adjust her sweater and the girl JUMPED on her back and hurt her a lot.  They were about 14 at the time.  No joke.  They avoided each other mostly and Bauren trash talked my child every chance she got.


Somehow, Junior year they became friends.  They hung out every day and my child convinced Bauren to join her on the school golf team.  Bauren cheated daily but my daughter refused to rat her out.   The ultimate slap was when Bauren won the team sportsmanship award.


 continued.....

Julie... Julie411me

Bauren, part 2


One day, they were catching a ride home with a mutual friend and Bauren "called shotgun" so my DD had to get into the back.  She flipped the seat forward and was getting her back pack, purse and gym bag into the back seat first.  Bauren got sick of waiting and took her foot and kicked my daughter in the back (she knows its a vulerable spot) and said "Hurry yo' ass up, cunt."


I have never, ever heard a woman use that word before.  Come to think of it, I've never heard a man use that word before either. 


For that reason, when our house and street was vandalized with fireworks and spraypaint that included that word, my husband and I were sure it was this girl and her trashy friends.


I spent most of the year trying to convince my daughter to drop her as a friend.  She insisted that Bauren had positive traits too and I just didnt hear about those.  Fair enough, but I told her, one more blow to the back and I am calling her mom.


Finally, my daughter had enough and she really distanced herself from this girl this year.  I am so thrilled.  Now her best friend is a guy and they never bicker, fight or injure each other, just laugh and have fun.


I think it's safe to say that no one misses Bauren at all.


 


sorry for the long "bloggy" answer


 

three... three-for-now

my son has a friend I can't stand!! He comes over ask to take thing home (age 8) and whines and tells on everyone in the house! I can't stand him, I once found a broken pin ball machine of my sons hidden when I asked what happened my 4 years to me that "Noah" broke it, I wanted to call his mom up and yell but I threw it away and went on with my day. I paid $75 for it and only had it a month.I can't stand when he calls and wants to come over!. We haven't heard from him since before christmas and hopefully it says that way.

4monkees 4monkees

There is a girl in our neighborhood.  Well call her "Marie".  She is so annoying!!  She just walks in our house, or goes into our garage and pulls out all the kids toys.  Another neighbor girl told me that when we are not home she goes in our backyard.  I can not tell you how many times i have come home and my dog is out.  Now I know why.  When it is time for my kids to come in she will leave, only to return a few minutes later and say she has to come in b/c there is noone home 2 her house.  how do you just leave w/ you 7 y/o outside!?!  Well after a few times, she pulled this, I personally started walking her home.  Her family wsa there the whole time!!!  She truely is liar, her mother even admits it.  One day I came home and my husband was outside doing yardwork, so the doors were unlocked and I walked upstairs and there she was just walking around my house!!!


bad

mama4... mama4Christ361

I hate both of my SILs' kids. All five of them are heathens and bratty. And yes, this wrong, I know, but the youngest girl is not only a brat but hideously ugly, and I want to smack her every time I see her. I know, how awful to hate a kid even more for looks, but if she was sweet it wouldn't matter. The ugly heart just makes me hate her ugly face too.

jajum... jajumommy2000

My DD has a friend who lives up the street. She is my DDs age and her parents let her come over all the time. We have to lock our doors because before she knocks she tries the door and comes in. I have told her before that DD is not allowed to play at that moment and she says OK Ill just wait. I tell her no you have to go home. She steals DDs toys and then says DD gave them to her. The final straw, or rather 2, was one day DD was playing with her and then cam ehome crying. She said her "friend" told her she wasnt gonna play with her anymore because another girl was home she wanted to play with more. So 5 minutes later when she comes back and said the other girl left and now she wanted to play with DD I wouldnt let her. The other straw was when DD told me this girl had been throwing rocks and the windows of the house next to hers because it was abandonded and it didnt matter. I said nope and stick to it. DD cant understand I  try to explain it to her but I am just grateful this girl is moving back to FL at the end of the school year.

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